Hi, Mom! How are you feeling?
Why, itís Maude! What are you doing in my room? And why are you calling me Mom?
Mom, Iím Sharla, your daughter. Maude was your sister.
Well, I think I know my own sister. And Iíd certainly know if I had a daughter. And Iíd never name her anything like Sharla. Oh, Maude, you are such a scamp. Is it time for school? Letís skip school today!
Mom, I came because Iím worried. They called me to tell me youíd broken your hip and that you wonít walk with the physical therapist. They also said you wonít take your medicine or eat your food.
Oh, fiddlesticks! Broken hip, my eye! These people keep coming into the house and insisting that I exercise and take these awful pills. Why in the world doesnít Dad keep them out? I canít understand it for the life of me. Sometimes I think Iím on Candid Camera.
Mom, donít you understand? Youíre not home with your mom and dad. Youíre 83 years old and you live in Pine Crest Nursing Home.
Oh, stop kidding around, Maudie. 83 years old. Thatís older than Grandma Hazel. I donít know why youíre all tricking me this way. Is it because of me borrowing your pink sweater? I told you I was sorry! Honestly, I just donít know whatís been happening lately. And look at this food. If Mom wants me to eat youíd think sheíd know better than to give me this slop.
Oh, Mom. I donít know what I am going to do. You have to eat enough to stay healthy and you have to take your pills and do your exercises. I have enough to worry about at my own house. Since Edgar retired heís been such a pest, and Lucy is getting a divorce, and Ö
Who are those people? Edgar? Lucy? Maude, why are you teasing me like that? I just donít understand. Whatís going on?
Please donít cry, Mom. Hereís the nurse. Will you please take your pills and at least drink some milk? Iíll see if thereís something on the TV.
There, Maude. Did it make you happy to see me swallow those nasty pills? I donít know what kind of vitamins Mom is buying these days, but they taste awful. And what is this awful, lumpy grey stuff?
Itís oatmeal, Mom. You used to love it.
Oatmeal, you say? Youíre right, that used to be my favorite. Why canít I remember what it looks like?
Here, Mom. Thereís a station with hymns, and it shows the words. I know you love the old hymns. Maybe youíd like to sing some of them with me. Let me get your glasses.
Oh, donít be silly. I donít need to read to sing those hymns. ďWhen I survey the wondrous cross, on which the Prince of Glory died, my richest gain I count but loss, and pour contempt on all my prideÖĒ
Mom, thatís amazing! How can you remember all those words when you canít remember anything else?
Well, I donít know, Maudie. I guess I just remember the most important things. Now hush up and letís sing. ďWere the whole realm of nature mineÖĒ
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