The Official Writing Challenge
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07/17/08
Beautiful! The repetition of that one phrase tied things together so well.
07/17/08
Wow, this is excellent! I think you have a winner here!
I agree---think this one is, indeed a winner!
Your story is awesome--unforgettable.
07/18/08
This brought tears to my eyes! I'm so glad that he made it, that he came back and that she was there for him and everything. The descriptions are just fitting and I loved the repeating line, to remember what he was fighting for. Lovely! ^_^
07/19/08
The repetition is simply masterful, and the descriptions are so vivid. I felt like I was right there. Excellent.
Magnificent writing! I felt the pain of this soldier as though I were lying there myself. I have such respect for our military; their courage is what patriotism is all about. It is Christlike self-sacrifice. Well done.
07/20/08
This was PHENOMENAL! I loved the line, "Living in the midst of death and hatred has cracked us like the husk of a coconut, allowing the sweet milk of brotherhood to flow among us."Wow...just, wow!
07/20/08
Reading this was like watching a Hallmark movie...only better! Excellent!
07/20/08
This is SO good! It this one doesn't win big time, I'll be very surprised. Kudos!!
I can hardly add to what others have already said. Brilliant, masterful, wonderful. The repetition of that one phrase - perfect.

I liked the gentle link (whether on purpose or not) "... the golden heart is safe in my hand." and then at the end, "Gentle hands embrace my cheeks"

Well done.
07/23/08
Masterfully done. I love the softness of the words you chose, but the power behind them is exquisite!
What a beautiful, heart-wrenching piece. I, too, liked the repition of the phrase as it was subtle, but necessary, like that of a heartbeat. I esp, like this sentence because it seemed to sum up what you article was saying "My buddies tape the locket to my bed rails and I see her face as I drift in and out of life."
I think you have a winner here! Loren
"Her face smiles out at me, heart-shaped with chocolate hair streaked with amber. Clear green eyes reflect the smile that touches her lips."

I really liked the above description. This was an amazing love story. This one not placing would be a crime. Masterful writing!