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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: The Family Reunion (06/05/08)

TITLE: Tommy Turtle's Tale
By Shirley McClay
06/11/08


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Lil' Tommy was a turtle
And Tommy had a goal.
This little turtle, Tommy,
Was headed to the hole.

This hole was very special;
It filled a turtle’s needs.
A lovely pond with water,
And bugs, and fish, and seeds.

Tommy was adventurous;
He took a little trip.
But turtles are so simple;
He made a little slip.

He forgot his turtle map
And landed on the road.
Cars whizzed over top of him;
They never even slowed.

Since Tommy was a turtle
He pulled into his shell.
Now he wished he’d given
His mom a hug... farewell!

But then some children saw him;
Their mom pulled to the side.
She snatched him from death's door
And gave him quite a ride.

He felt himself float upward…
Was this his final day?
He chanced a peek to realize
His world was gone away.

Inside the car were people…
They seemed the friendly sort.
He hoped they wouldn’t eat him,
But hopes were falling short



“I’m on my way to visit
My relatives, you see…
The pond over the hilltop
Is where I long to be.

“I’m aimed for the reunion
Where all the turtles come
To visit one another…
I realize it seems dumb.

“Turtles rarely travel far
But when they do, it seems
They always find adventures
And do exciting things!

“We have a get-together
One month in every year,
When all the turtles gather
So the stay-at-homes can hear.

“They love to listen to us
When we come back each fall.
They chose home and safe pond fun…
They’re happy after all!

“But we who love adventures
Can never settle there.
We come home to tell the tales
They love to hear us share.

“We party turtle parties
And munch on turtle food,
Lots of turtle laughter…
My turtle home is good.

“Then it's time to winter deep
And first thing in the spring,
We pack our turtle baggage
And have a goodbye fling."



Something Tommy said to them
Had touched a caring heart;
'Cause they laughed and stroked his shell,
Then took him to the park.

They put him in the water
Of his dear family hole.
The turtle clan was waiting,
They missed him heart and soul

He told them what had happened
And they were all impressed.
He’d crossed the busy highway…
The Great Untraveled West!


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This article has been read 743 times
Member Comments
Member Date
BOB BLACKMAN06/12/08
Fantastic. I loved this poem! It has a delightful, feel good story. It's a great read-to-your-grandkids poem.
Joshua Janoski06/12/08
This is such a cute poem. I don't know a whole lot about poetry, but this seemed to flow very nicely as I read it out loud. This is a great poem to read to children. Good job! :)
Amy Michelle Wiley 06/12/08
Such a fun poem!
LauraLee Shaw06/15/08
Tommy Turtle's Tale is a toe-tapper with a great message. Great job!
Chely Roach06/15/08
I love it...of coarse! Add it to your children's anthology. GREAT JOB!
Joy Faire Stewart06/15/08
This was fun to read aloud. I enjoyed the flow. Great job!
Lyn Churchyard06/16/08
This screams out for illustrations. The flow was just so good - like mud sliding off a turtle's shell :-)

Shirley, you definitely have to put this one in your children's anthology. Brilliant.
Mariane Holbrook06/16/08
This is so adorable. I sat here tapping my fingers on the desk as I read it. Very, very good job!
Joanne Sher 06/16/08
So cute and fun - love that last stanza. It flowed very nicely (I think I tripped up maybe once), and I agree that it begs for illustrations. Lovely!
Holly Westefeld06/16/08
Congrats, Shirley, on trying something new! You have not done badly for your first poem, and you did a nice job with enjambment from Jan's recent class. You did a reasonably good job with consistency of meter, which can certainly be a challenge when starting to write poetry. This was fun.
Colin Swann06/17/08
Thanks for sharing you writing skills.
Beckie Stewart06/17/08
Well for a first attempt, it was great. I loved it!
Debbie Wistrom06/17/08
Wonderful kid's poem, keep at it...
Catrina Bradley 06/18/08
Yay for your first poem!! Truly fun, and a cute story. Only a couple places seem to be "off" meter. I smiled all the way through. :)