The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
06/12/08
I love this story...I felt flush myself when Cheri entered the room with her well-to-do in-laws. Nice twist at the end...Well done!
06/13/08
Nice job on characterization especially. Definitely wasn't expecting that twist. Nicely done!
06/13/08
Great opening sequence! I was transported to another place. Is this the beginning of a longer story? This is rich with detail. You've told this story very well, and I wanted to read more.
06/14/08
Engaging characters and dialogue. Lots to praise here. The detail that made me think "good observation" was the women looking Cheri up and down, faces devoid of expression. That tells me that, as a writer, you've been people watching. ;-)
06/15/08
I love the story. The plot, the dialogue, and the characters are so well expressed! I wish you will continue with the story somewhere and let us know what happens next with Michael and Cheri in their new roles, especially with the added load of 'blessing' which sometimes may turn out to be a burden to 'carefree' lives.
LOL I wish my family decided to have a cruise for a reunion :-)
Nice story telling here, with 'real' characters and dialogue.

"Their elegance overwhelmed her and made her feel suddenly uncomfortable in her new $59 hibiscus patterned sleeveless frock." I really felt for Cheri, $59 dress is about my speed too. Well done Chrissy, well done. You made me feel the story.
06/16/08
Love the title, and the story made we want to go on a cruise! I really like the loving partnership of Michael and Cheri--just lovely.

I'd have liked to know more about the reason behind Michael's disdain for the family business...and there were a few POV switches that were slightly disorienting.

Great job with characterization and some nice, subtle touches.

A reunion on a cruise and a longer one in thier future. Well done, I could fell Cheri's apprehension.
I enjoyed reading this. Makes me want to go on a cruise to the Caribbean. Well done my friend.
Interesting twist at the end.Wonderful idea for a reunion, your characters were very true to life.
Blessings,
Norms
Now why couldn't my family have thought of something like that?? A very original entry which I hope places for you! Kudos!
06/18/08
I have only had the pleasure of being on one cruise in my lifetime. Now I feel like I just finished my second one. Very enjoyable read.
06/18/08
Oooh, a good twist! I was hoping it would turn out that they wished they hadn't gone after all. I liked that surprise. I think there were a few missing words, i.e. "he left them to think it over"? etc. but it was a fun story! I'd love to know what happens when he takes over the business! ^_^ Nice job.
06/18/08
I'd love to be at that family reunion! Loved the story that goes along with this reunion, and the outcome for Michael and Cherie. A word seems to be missing here & there, but it doesn't distract. I really enjoyed this!
What a cool family reunion. Nicely done, and original.
This is top-class writing Chrissy! In my mind your work has become more polished, more refined. I felt like I was reading from an already published novel by one of the popular contemporary writers. Keep it up. You inspire me.