( Julie: age 64, Flo: age 71)
“Oh my goodness!” Flo screamed, as she looked at Julie’s garden and the row of Irish potatoes.
She had helped Julie dig the soil , strow the 8-8-8 fertilizer(tm), cut the seed potatoes, drop the potato eyes and then cover them with the soil. Flo was in shock!
Julie came running from her front yard, thinking something bad had happened. “What’s wrong , Flo? Are you o.k.? Have you been bitten by a snake?”
“Oh, no, far worse,” squealed Flo.
“What Flo, what? Are you having a heart attack?”
“No, no. Just look at that potato plant. It’s covered with creepy, beady, blackeyed orange things, getting longer as they greedily mulch away at our potato plants. They have black dots lining their sides, but they’re not lady bugs. They’re monsters with giant teeth! There’s not much of the plant left. They’ll wipe out your entire garden and we won’t have fresh vegetables for the family reunion, and after all the hours you have put in, not counting the afternoons that I have helped.. Oh Julie!”
“Come inside and settle down, Flo. I’ll call our cousin, Denton. He’ll know what to do.”
(ten minutes later)
.“Flo, I’ve talked with Denton. He says to go to the store and buy Bugoff and apply it, or by morning I might not have any plants left. He thinks it is Japanese beetles. Oh, my! So let’s hurry and go and get out of the mall parking lot before dark. I’m just gonna wear my denim shorts and hit the road. Let’s take my Chihuahua, Petey, and my snub-nose 357 Magum; that should be enough protection.”
(twenty minutes later)
“Well, here we are, Flo. It won’t take me long in the store, so you keep the car doors locked..”
“Hope you find what we need, Julie.”
“I do too , Flo, I do too.”
(About thirty minutes later)
“Now that didn’t take too long, did it Flo? There was no such named product as Denton mentioned, but a nice young man helped me find what I need. I also bought something to kill that poison oak that’s taken over the fireplace chimney and is growing out the wall on the front porch. Makes me itch to even think about it. Someone told me it might just be a vine kin to the grape family, called Virginia Creep. No matter... it’s got to go, been trying to get rid of it for fifteen years.”
(thirty minutes later back ay Julie’s house)
“Oh no, Flo!”
“What is it now, Julie?”
“The instructions on this label reads that an outside hose is needed for this spray. I was in such a hurry that I didn’t read the label in the store. How wrong can things go? Last year when my water pipes froze and burst, my outside faucet wasn’t reconnected when the water pipes were replaced. My garden is doomed, and our reunion reputation!”
(Twenty minutes later)
I’m sorry, Flo, that we didn’t get home before dark, just hold the flashlight steady. I’m going to spray Kitchen Lysol spray(tm) on it. It kills ants in the house so it should work here. Ah, heck, it’s not strong enough. They’re tough boogers, they’re hanging on for dear life. Here goes a sprinkling of Sevin dust(tm). They are not going to destroy our garden or our reputation of having the freshest and best tasting vegetables at our annual family reunion.
(Six weeks later, family reunion, near the long tables set up under the Magnolia and Sycamore trees, 95 degree temp.)
“Well thank you, sisters, brother Jay, nieces and nephews You’re quite welcome. I was happy that my garden flourished this year, so I could bring fresh tomatoes, green onions, a squash casserole, fried okra, green purple hull peas , corn on the cob, jalapeno, cayenne, and mild banana peppers. Hope somebody brought tea and ice! I’m most proud of the cantaloupe, and red-meated watermelons I raised and brought.
“No, I take that back. I’m actually most proud of th humongous bowl of potato salad that Flo made from the potatoes she helped me raise. Oh yes, Flo and I enjoyed all the cooking... and I’m sure that ya’ll must have brought SOMETHING that we’ll like too.”
Such a great reunion...as far as the food goes. Did anyone bring a homemade banana pudding? I could have.
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