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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: The Family Home (05/29/08)

TITLE: I Don't Want A Mansion In Heaven
By Mariane Holbrook


I dreamed I was walking in heaven
On streets paved with untarnished gold.
The mansions we passed were imposing and grand;
Almost too recherché to behold.

A Tudor home’s herringbone brickwork,
High chimneys and dormers galore,
Its tall mullioned windows and steeply pitched roofs
Spoke clearly of gracious décor.

Beyond that, a great “Antebellum”
Surrounded by white picket fence,
Had pillars, hipped roof and elaborate frieze,
But strangely devoid of pretense.

I turned to the guide who was with me,
“You said I could choose what I please?
Of those that I’ve looked at, I doubt if I’d feel
At home, sir, in any of these.

“I wonder if there is a hillside
Away from the elegance here;
A house I had hoped could be mine for all time:
My ‘home place’ I’d always held dear.

“It sat on a beautiful hillside
With views of the meadows below.
The house was unpainted and needed repair
But that was a long time ago.

“Inside was a warm, friendly kitchen
Where cookies were baked with great love.
An oil cloth covered the oak table top
And a fly paper hung from above.

“We slept under quilts in the bedrooms
And listened to katydids’ song.
There’s nowhere on earth as endearing as this
For this is the place I belong.

“I don’t need a mansion up here, sir.
I know all my family’d agree.
If I could just have my small house on a hill,
Now that would be heaven to me.”

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This article has been read 981 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Lynda Schultz 06/05/08
Amen! Sounds like a place I'd be happy in.
Karen Wilber06/05/08
Great title. Lovely poem. Good point. and mmmmm, cookies from the oven.
Helen Dowd06/07/08
Yes, I agree. I would not feel at home in a mansion, as I am a lover of the kind of life you describe. I like a simple life - nothing elaborate...But you know what? I think that in heaven we may have the type of "mansion" that we would be happy in. For a queen, queenly surroundings, because that is what she is used to. For simple folks, just the things that would make us happy. But whatever, if our Lord is there, it WILL be what will make us happy. Oh, heaven is going to be a great unbelievable surprise...like a lovely gift under a Christmas tree - unimaginable...I love your poem, and the rhyme and rhythm are perfect... It's kind of like a lymeric in its style...but of course not quite like one...Helen
Joanne Sher 06/07/08
Just lovely - I adore the images and the wonderful, wonderful message you portray so masterfully here.
Jan Ackerson 06/11/08
I love the meter you've chosen here, and the great rhyme choices. Very nice!
Gerald Shuler 06/11/08
You are a good poet. What I like is the way you did justice in your descriptions to both the mansion and the humble abode. Good writing.
Bryan Coomes06/11/08
I enjoyed this. Smooth read with a nice flow and pace. Great descriptions and now I want to eat some cookies. ;)
Deborah Engle 06/11/08
Wonderful poem. Sounds like home to me.
Dee Yoder 06/11/08
The happy home of our childhood is always the one we search for the rest of our lives...your descriptions make this fond wish come alive. Lovely!
Verna Cole Mitchell 06/11/08
This absolutely beautiful poem, masterfully written, shows not only gifted writing talent, but a beautiful heart as well.
Beckie Stewart06/11/08
What a great poem. I am always amazed at those who write poetry and can convey the message so clearly. I like this.
Holly Westefeld06/11/08
Lovely sentiment. This different, yet consistent meter keeps the reader from slipping in to sing-song. Nicely done!
LauraLee Shaw06/11/08
Either I'm weepy this morning, or this brought me to tears. Lovely and well-written, this was a meaningful piece in every way.
Beth LaBuff 06/11/08
You have beautiful images and wonderful word choices in this lovely poem!
Debbie Wistrom06/11/08
I agree with your choice.
Simple is best when attached to all those wonderful memories.
Joshua Janoski06/11/08
I learned a new word from this poem - recherché.

I really liked the idea presented in this poem. The idea that our Heavenly home should be as familiar and comfortable as our Earthly homes.

A very well written and enjoyable piece. Thank you for sharing.
Betty Castleberry06/11/08
I love this:

“I don’t need a mansion up here, sir.
I know all my family’d agree.
If I could just have my small house on a hill,
Now that would be heaven to me.”

This is so well done. Thank you for this beautiful poem.
Lollie Hofer06/11/08
The rhythm and rhyme of this poem flowed well together. It captured the heart from beginning to end.
Lyn Churchyard06/12/08
An absolutely beautiful entry and the meter and rhyme flow of this poem are as smooth as velvet. Great job Mariane :- )
Marilyn Schnepp 06/12/08
A poetic Masterpiece as usual! I fully understand your preference - but I've never lived in a mansion, so I'm sure I'd be delighted with whatever He is preparing for me up there! MY main concern is making it! Your poetry is always First Class - Kudos!
Marilee Alvey06/16/08
I really enjoyed this poem. I live in an antebellum type home but I agree: home is where the heart is. I think the same goes for the area of the country. Just give me friends and family and I'll plant myself and be happy! So well done!