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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: The Family Home (05/29/08)

TITLE: The Funeral Director Said
By Mo
06/04/08


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The house is a pit
But I don’t care
The laundry’s done
At least the underwear

The beds aren’t made
But I don’t care
Less dust mites then
So they declare

The yard’s a mess
But I don’t care
Someday it’ll be better
And not so bare

The weeds took over
But I don’t care
It’s better than poison
In our li’l heirs

Our clothes are old
But I don’t care
They're comfy and us
Who needs flair?

Our hair’s not perfect
But I don’t care
I cut it myself
And I have gray hairs

The garage is a mess
But I don’t care
It’s all his junk
Some day he’ll foreswear?

The basement is cluttered
But I don’t care
It’s a computer graveyard
He likes to have spares

The attic is useless
But I don’t care
Just boxes and bees
There’s no floor up there

Repairs aren’t finished
But I don’t care
Those guys are expensive
We’ll finish some year


The funeral director said
That’s all right
That stuff can wait
You've got your priorities straight


The kids are cute
We’re so blessed
They’re precious to us
They’re really the best

They’re very smart
We’re so blessed
They entertain themselves
They’re not TV-obsessed

They’re healthy too
We’re so blessed
They’re sure not perfect
But we’re impressed

They get along well
We’re so blessed
Not all the time
But they love each other best

They’re really sweet
We’re so blessed
But they can be sour
Especially when stressed

I love to watch them
We’re so blessed
They’re so kind and pure
With such energy and zest

They love to laugh
We’re so blessed
They can make me smile
When I’m distressed

They’re only young once
We’re so blessed
I can work at home
And stay abreast

They have such potential
We’re so blessed
Their talents will appear
At His request

They know God
We’re so blessed
They’re learning more
In their lifelong quest


The property was cleaner
Before they came along
But we accept our fate
Our priorities are straight
















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This article has been read 411 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 06/05/08
Cute little poem, with a really effective use of repetition and a simple meter.

I don't get the title, or the stanza in the middle with the funeral director...and I caught a few inconsistencies in meter and rhyme scheme.

But I love the way you paint a picture of a relaxed and imperfect family home--just the kind I've loved for 33 years!
Helen Dowd 06/09/08
I wonder if a person is allowed to say she doesn't quite understand the poem...After reading the comments of others, which I don't usually do before I add mine, I caught on that you were saying that although your house may not be too tidy, at least your kids were happy. And that is what counts....At least, I have to say, your poem is unique...Helen
Sara Harricharan 06/09/08
LOL! This was funny to read, I liked the opening verse with the underwear-heehee, that was just a truly realistic touch! nice job! ^_^