The Official Writing Challenge
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i enjoyed reading this. Great insights.
06/07/08
I can feel your heart in this piece, and I love the structure of it. I caught ONE missed word in the last paragraph, but nothing else. Your longing, and your peace, come through very clearly.
This is not ho hum. It is genuine and very well written. Great message, too.
06/08/08
I love your ending conclusion in this poignant piece. The single-sentence "passing of time" comments are very effective. Only someone who has gone through this would completely understand. Your writing really touched me.
06/08/08
I could hear your heart throughout this...I felt your pain. What a beautiful gift contentment is. This was wonderful.
06/09/08
This is great! The longer paragraphs alternating with the short sentences give it a rhythm, move it along at a sort of syncopated pace. Wonderful.
I couldn't wait to read the next paragraph to see if God had answered your prayers.
It was a beatiful, sensitive piece of writing which I enjoyed reading.
Norms
I was starting to feel sorry for Miranda, but then the ending made it all better.

The pace of this worked to keep the story flowing without being boring.
06/11/08
Good writing! I love the creativity of it. As a mother of one--a daughter too--I could feel similar emotions. Thanks for a good story:)
I think the style of the piece is wonderful and well-written with the explanation and then a one sentence paragraph on the prayer and waiting. To end with the realization of the blessing works nicely.
~Ree~
06/11/08
What a neat change of heart! I loved the way that one line went between each paragraph showing each 'change' like. It was good! ^_^
I liked the format of this story. At first I was thinking that the waiting was for a home, and then as the story began to unfold, I realized that the waiting was for a child.

Good to see you enter the challenge again. Always a joy to read your stuff. :)
Kit, so glad to see you submitting and writing again. I've missed reading your work. I could feel the ache of the mother all the way through this piece, but I also felt her love for her existing family members and then when the revelation came, I could see her submissive humility and graditude as well. Well done! Loren
06/11/08
Excellent work, the timeline and transitions were very engaging and the detail was exceptional. Thanks for sharing!!!