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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: fathers (06/06/05)

TITLE: Not a Bother
By Sally Hanan
06/10/05


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Jimmyís pencil waved furiously over the lined notepad.

Dear God,

Will You give my dad a message? I think heís up there with You Ďcos he taught me some real good stuff and I wanted to let him know that Iím doing everything he said. Tell him that I miss him. I guess he knows that anyhow.

Tell him that I love him.
Iím careful all the time-
donít spill milk on my shirt...
THAT made him freak BIG time!
Tell him I donít cry now;
I hold my tears in good.
I breathe real deep and wait,
just like he said I should.
Tell him Iím no sissy.
If any boy at school
tries to push me over
I punch him one-itís cool.
No girl is gonna fool me
like Mom would do to him.
I yell at them real loud
and give my daddyís grin.
If they shout back, my fist
will land square on their jawÖ
guess thatís why Iím in Juvie
No can do that no more.

Hey God, before You leave and take care of all those other kids who need You to do them favors, I wanted to let You knowÖ

Mom visits me and cries.
Sheís such a hopeless case.
Talks to me Ďbout You God-
she says Youíre full of grace.
I think it means You listen
and donít think Iím a bother,
so that makes You my friend
and nothing like my father.

Thanks for passing on that message God. Youíre the best!

Jimmy.



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This article has been read 1096 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Lynda Lee Schab 06/13/05
What a creative take on topic! Nice poetry - flowed well. An easy read, yet filled with substance.
Well done!
Blessings, Lynda
Shari Armstrong 06/14/05
Wow, just shows how important it is that father's set good examples for their sons.
Kyle Chezum06/14/05
Very clever! I liked this piece, and the poetry was really good! Keep it up!
Dian Moore06/15/05
Very cleverly done!
Joanne Malley06/15/05
A very original format used for this challenge-enjoyed your poetry! :)
darlene hight06/16/05
I enjoyed this even if it made me a little sad. It is so true to life. The things that we do to little boys!
Pat Guy 06/16/05
Very well done! Bittersweet with elements of hope (he's at least talking to God). Great combination of poetry and storyline. I really liked this. :)
WENDY DECKER06/16/05
Great letter, Jimmy. Sounds like we could be a limb from the same family tree.
Val Clark06/17/05
Out of left field approach to the damage dads can do, particularly when teaching their sons to be tough. Mother is a thread of hope. (phew)
dub W06/17/05
Not only well done, but wow, what a message both to fathers and to sons.
Amy Michelle Wiley 06/17/05
How sad. But point well made. Well done!
Suzanne R06/18/05
Wow! It's original, well crafted, thought provoking, enjoyable (although sad at the same time) - WOW! Well done.
Phyllis Inniss 06/20/05
Glad that I didn't miss this beautifully flowing poem with its powerful message to dads and their sons. I like the connection to God which gives hope. Very creative.