The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
06/05/08
Beautiful--you've got some excellent words and phrases here, and a touching story.
06/09/08
Wow! Quite a story! Something tells me there's a little more to it than you could fit in 750 words, but I like the idea and how it played out. Nice job. ^_^
06/09/08
I REALLY like this! The parallel between the "ghost" and the man who had considered himself dead - the comparison of the house built by man to the home built by God. The baptism by rain was a beautiful addition. I got lost in the time & place flow a couple of times, but overall a very engaging, GOOD story, well written.
You've created a lovely albeit smelly character here-I love Bill, you gave him a ghostly aura.

You did a great job setting this scene as a reminder.

Well done and so enjoyable
Aaron, an amazing piece of writing. You had the reader right there with complete empathy for "Wild Bill". I liked the way you tied everything together, not a wasted scence at all. Great job! Loren
06/11/08
The pacing was perfect for me. Your story never dragged--and you dropped in a few details here and there that filled in blanks nicely and kept me reading. I like the way you involved all the senses in your description. Well done.
A perfectly woven tale. My heart really went out to Wild Bill, and I sure hope that the church got rebuilt, but you made a good point about the church not being a building - we are the church.

I will once again declare that you will soon be in the masters category. I say it every week, but that's because I believe it wholeheartedly. If I were a betting man, I would put my money on it.

Thank you for blessing us with your gift of words and storytelling, Aaron. Always a joy to read your stuff. :)