The Official Writing Challenge
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06/05/08
Great story, but I'd really like to hear Electra's version also. It would be great to have both versions merged into a story too long to post in a challenge but I'd bet you could find a magazine that would be interested.
06/05/08
Cute idea for a story!

Without quotation marks at the very beginning, I thought this was a 1st person narrative, so having Electra referred to in the 3rd person jarred me a little.

You've written two very sympathetic characters--good job.
Fun story! I like her making up a story but then getting to here the real story.
06/09/08
Oooh, I liked this! I liked the name Electra and I wanted to see her version of the story! Such a fun character. ^_^
06/10/08
This was such a cool story...I loved the realism that Electra would tell a fictionalized story to cope with her pain. Wonderful writing.
06/11/08
It's wonderful how much our homes become a part of our lives. You described a great home and wonderful characters in this story. I like the tie-in at the end with why the MC tells the pirate tale to her friends.
You showed very well what a great home Electra's father had made for her to grow up in. I particularly enjoyed your characterization development here.
06/11/08
Love the voice of this - and fun characters for sure. You are SO improving, sweetie.
This is good. I love the way it brought in imagination and real emotions.
I want the pirate story, or the haunted house story.

It was touching that she admitted that birthdays were hard and that she recognized it to be true for her Dad as well.
Touching story and beautifully told. I enjoyed reading it.
Norms
06/11/08
I found the treasure! I found the treasure! It's the love and respect found in this wonderful home.

Great telling of a heartwarming tale.
06/11/08
I found the treasure! I found the treasure! It's the love and respect found in this wonderful home.

Great telling of a heartwarming tale.
I know of several people who used to make up stories in order to forget about what really happened in their lives. Sometimes that's how people deal with pain.

Electra's story, though untrue, sounded like it was interesting, and I wish her dad had let her finish it before telling the real tale.

This was very good. I really enjoyed getting to read it. Thank you for sharing, Aunt Chrissy. :)
06/11/08
Thanks Chrissy, I really enjoyed this entry. The character movements were especially well developed. Thanks for sharing!!
06/11/08
I was intrigued by the title and the story didn't disappoint either. Loved how you changed the voice after the first few sentences. Very creative.
Great job of story telling, Chrissy. Now I'm hungry for some popcorn, too. I especially liked this line:
"No, the house is not haunted—not that I know of. The rooms have just never been needed." It say a lot about the depth of the writer's emotions. You have great range and keep improving. Loren
06/11/08
The title is a true draw! I wish you would have put the beginning narrative in quotes, but other than that, this is a delightful tale. You wrap it all up nicely without it being too put together, if you know what I mean. Grand!
06/13/08
Nice homey story. I could just see the girls sitting crosslegged on their bed, listening...Enjoyed it very much...Helen