The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Nice title, and some really great descriptions.

Be aware of the difference between "conscience" (that little inner voice) and "conscious" (aware).

This made me want a chocolate chip cookie.
Excellent beginning and a great title. You had me wondering who/what had your MC in the second paragraph. If this is a true story, what a wonderful heritage you've given these kids. This is very well written.
I love the words you have used in your writing, descriptive and wonderfully woven together.