Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Four Ways For A Christian Writer To Win A Publishing Package HERE



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: The Family Home (05/29/08)

TITLE: God, a man, and home
By LaNaye Perkins
06/03/08


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

Its life began decades ago
One man building a place to grow

Rough hewn timbers were then hacked out
Beams of oak so solid and stout

Newspapers old to seal the cracks
So winterís chill would be held back

Children thrived being taught by love
Parents sought Godís wisdom above

Time passes the parents are gone
One child comes, then calls it home

Their children raised like they were shown
Reared in love new seeds being sown

Once again the children moved on
Parents remain till God calls home

A new child now calls it home
Third generation now is shown

How God can show the way to grow
Inside this house built long ago

Its beams of oak hewn out by hand
Tenderly crafted by a man

His home was shielded by Godís love
And lives were guided from above

These generations have stayed strong
Because of God, a man, and home.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 621 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 06/05/08
I really like the generational aspect of this, the flow of time.

I'd encourage you to seek out more sophisticated and complex rhymes. For example, you rhymed "love" and "above" twice, which is almost a cliche' in Christian poetry. You can definitely take it up a notch!

Lovely sentiment!
Beth LaBuff 06/06/08
I like how you poem comes back full circle to the beginning and includes the title. Your thoughts are beautiful and the message excellent. Nice work on this.
Betty Castleberry06/08/08
It's so true a building does not make a home. I like the tender feeling and the flow in this piece. Very nicely done.
Debbie Wistrom06/08/08
What a specail family portrait. I enjoed the sentiment here.
Joanne Sher 06/08/08
Lovely piece - especially the message.

I tripped up on meter here and there, but it could have just been me.

Great title, too.
Chely Roach06/08/08
I loved the progress of this through time, and the sweet message. Well done.
Kristen Hester06/08/08
My favorite part:
Children thrived being taught by love
Parents sought Godís wisdom above

Time passes the parents are gone
One child comes, then calls it home

Lovely!

Lyn Churchyard06/09/08
A simple progression from a plot of bare earth to a home full of warmth and love. I do not know very much about the technicalities of poetry, but I do know what I like, and I liked this. Well done Naye :-)
Dee Yoder 06/09/08
I love the "circle of life" theme that flowed through this piece. There aren't very many old homesteads around like this one anymore. Very nostalgic and touching.
Norma-Anne Hough06/09/08
Nice piece of work. Loved the way it went full circle.
Well done.
Norms
Verna Cole Mitchell 06/09/08
I enjoyed your story poem. My favorite line--
His home was shielded by God's love. That's my prayer for our home.
Joshua Janoski06/11/08
A lot said in few words. I am no poetry expert, so it's hard for me to give any technical comments, but I will say that I enjoyed reading this. Thank you for sharing. :)