The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
06/06/08
What a wonderful, faithful family!

I really liked your "tagless" dialogue, but your technique of always including a little bit of action eventually became a tiny bit predictable. Think about using other ways of labeling speeches.

Love your title, and this was very well-written.
06/06/08
Great dialogue and an interesting family dynamic. Wonderful writing.
06/06/08
I loved Serah's wisdom concerning "starting anew..." with, "With help from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. We must trust in Him." I liked the comment of Salman admonishing Merari "not to live up to his name." Great work and research on this.