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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Desire (01/17/05)

TITLE: Hey, I Like My Pants
By Deborah Anderson
01/23/05


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Desire…Hmmm…desire for God…D-E-S-I-R-E…ooh la la, desire…desire for chocolate…desire to be famous…Humph.

No matter how I sounded it out, I wasn’t getting anywhere.

I tapped my pencil on my desk as my thoughts scurried. Why does this word escape me? I’m clueless. I know what my problem is. My brain is on sensory overload. I’ve had too much going on. I need to close my eyes and breathe.

I inhaled, one, two, three, and four; and exhaled, five, six, seven, and eight. I performed this exercise several times.

I opened my eyes, blinked, and stared at my monitor. It didn’t help. I was still blank. I ran my fingers through my hair thinking it would stimulate my gray matter. I spelled the word aloud. "D-e-s-i-r-e." Have you ever repeated a word until it no longer makes sense? I put my head in my hands. My brain began to lecture me.

You are an idiot. How difficult can this be?

I argued back.

“Oh, shut up. You annoy me. Leave me alone. I’m trying to think over here."
Is that right? Is this what you call thinking? Why don’t you go and read some of your friends’ stories? They inspire you and get your creative juices flowing.

I pulled up a story and began reading. Lucky me, it just so happened to be a tearjerker. Half-way through, I began groping for my box of Kleenex. My monitor was a blur on the other side of my tears. My brain jumped in.

Feeling inspired now, are we? Hmmm?
“No, I’m not!” I snapped.
What a sap. Sheesh, the story was supposed to inspire you, stupid, not turn you into a puddle.
“God, please help the poor woman in the story,” I cried. My brain whistled, disturbing me further.

Hello? Excuse, me, but you’re supposed to be over here with me, working on DESIRE. Can we stop the crying already?
“You selfish, pig.” I yelled. “Leave me alone.”
I’m not selfish. I’m trying to help you.
“Help me? You have no compassion,” I said.
Ahem, not true. If I don’t light a fire under your behind, you and I, neither one, will sleep tonight, okay? Call me selfish, but I need my rest or I’m useless to you and everyone else. Look at yourself. Have you looked in the mirror lately? Gads, you look horrible. Look at how you’re dressed for pete’s sakes.

I looked down at my tweety-bird pants, tucked inside my blue, suede boots. I was insulted. These were my good writing pants. I rushed to my own defense.

“Hey, I’m comfortable like this, okay? And the boots, they keep my feet warm.”
Yeah, right. Speaking of desire…I’ll bet your husband loves you in this outfit.
“He thinks I’m cute dressed this way. He’s told me so.”
All righty then, say whatever works for ya, sister.

I desired for this wrestling match to cease. I didn’t like myself right now. I began to think of Paul.

Paul made his words clear. The war of our flesh against our spirit is ongoing. Paul speaks of this in God’s word: “For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that I do not; but what I hate, that do I.”
(Romans 7:15 KJV)

I was beating myself up over a mere word. How ludicrous is that? God has called me to peace in all of life’s circumstances. I punish myself more than anyone else does. This is a major, character flaw of mine. I do it over the simplest of things. I tell myself its wrong. I’m special to God. I vow not to do it anymore. Yet at times like these, I find myself doing it, again.

I believe it grieves God when I put myself down. It’s like slapping the potter, because
I don’t think the clay is good enough. Ouch. Did I say that?

My heart reflects back to desire. Desire….wait…I see something…a flicker…a thought. My brain remains silent as God’s word comes forth. “The desire of a man is his kindness.” (Proverbs 19:22 KJV)

Reality sinks in. I can’t beat myself up anymore. God desires for me to be kind, not only to others, but to myself, too. I look down at my tweety-bird pants. I smile. I feel God smile. Hey, I like my pants.

I hear feet shuffling behind me. I look up to see my husband who puts his arms around me and gives me a hug.

Desire…what a lovely word.


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This article has been read 1414 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Lynda Lee Schab 01/24/05
This was a great article to start my day. You kept me laughing and put me in a good mood on this Monday morning!!
Blessings, Lynda
WENDY DECKER01/24/05
Very funny article. I loved the banter back and forth with your mind. I thought I was the only one who spoke to myself that way. Great take on the subject.
Corinne Smelker 01/24/05
Hey - you were reading (or writing) my mind too!

Well done - loved the take on "desire"
Debbie OConnor01/24/05
Priceless! What a day brightener. I'll bet those pants are cute!
Joyce Poet01/24/05
Sounds as much like one of those battles I have with my kids as it does like the ones with my mind! I've got my own "tweety bird" pants. :::smile::: My kids hate them! But hey, I like 'em! What a creative way to make an important point that we all need to let sink in to our constantly battling brains. Thought provoking! I THINK I'm going to be much kinder to me. Not because I deserve it, but because the Word is alive.
KAREN FASIG01/24/05
Great article, well written. Kept a smile on my lips and a sigh of contentment escaped at the end.
Linda Germain 01/24/05
Very well done. I am wondering though, where exactly does one purchase "Tweety Bird" pants? Are those trousers for a yellow bird, or slacks with his picture on them? If your husband thinks you are cute, then you ARE cute! This is a good read. Loved the change in fonts ...very effective and creative.
Dave Wagner01/24/05
Mostly air. Kind of a cliche, as a whole - writing about not knowing what to write about. This needed more time to stew - by the time you get into saying something, you're done. Such is the drawback of writing under a deadline, I guess... another couple days of polish-time would have elevated this piece, I think. I appreciate the efforts, though. I know how hard it is to try to write when the ideas just aren't there.

Thanks for posting.
Deena Walls01/25/05
This is great ,You truly are lovly and a gift from God !
Kathy Cartee01/28/05
I simply love this one!
Great job.
I guess you would have to had been there a time or two to understand this one.

Kathy
Dan Blankenship 01/30/05
You had me at desire for chocolate...

Good job.

Deborah Porter 01/31/05
Deborah, congratulations on your place in the Editors' Choice Awards as well as receiving a Highly Commended Award in the Level 3 Champion Challenge. The competition was so strong for this Challenge, and both awards are a credit to you. With love, Deb (Challenge Co-ordinator)
Eli Espinoza02/04/05
You are a very good writer. I enjoyed reading your story.