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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: The Family Home (05/29/08)

TITLE: I Couldn't Rest Last Night
By Deborah Engle
06/02/08


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It was inevitable. Janet knew it had to happen, and yet how bittersweet. Through the windshield she saw a tired old two-story house, but in her mind, she could still envision the homey, comfortable oasis it had once been.

The stream that cut through the backyard beckoned to her, and she exited her car just as her brother Bob pulled up. Together they began to walk and talk.

“I had to see it one last time,” she told him.

“I know,” he said, “I couldn’t rest last night. I needed a final farewell.”

The overgrown path through the trees soon led them to the trickling stream.
“Not enough water in there to float a canoe anymore.”

Bob nodded. “That was never a problem when we were kids. I found my turtle Jeremiah upstream from here, and I brought him home in the canoe.”

Across the stream was a grassy field that had once been their garden. A family of seven required a sizable garden, and they both groaned as they recalled the hard work that went with it.

“Daddy demanded as much field work from us girls as he did from you boys. I never did understand that.”

“Only for the hoeing and harvesting. You’re not remembering the plowing and planting, or clearing the rocks, or tractor repairs. Your advanced age is telling on you.”

“Oh, listen to you…as if 18 months gives you an advantage! It was you and Bill that destroyed my mind. How was a sweet little baby girl supposed to get the adoration she deserved when cute, cuddly, twin baby brothers come along and steal all the attention?”

The light-hearted sparring lifted their spirits, and they began to walk again.

“Are you guys at it again? I could hear you as soon as I got out of the car.”

“Hey, Cheryl, come walk with us.” The three of them walked the perimeter of the property together, sharing memories as they emerged-planting miniature lilac shoots that would soon grow tall and full; hosting bonfires for youth group activities; picking berries from their own bushes.

“Well, I can’t remember the last time that fire pit was used, and those berry bushes haven’t been cared for in years. They’re just an eyesore now, just like this whole place.”

“It sounds like Bill has joined us.” Turning toward her brother, Janet smiled. ”You’re right, Bill. We all know it’s time to let it go, but there are some good memories here.”

“We were just heading into the house. If you promise to behave yourself, we’ll let you join us.” Bob stepped forward with his key, and as he unlocked the door, Ben’s car pulled into the driveway. The five of them, all together again, entered the house.

After a moment, Cheryl commented, “Times were hard and this was really just a humble place, but Mom treated it like a palace-it was her pride and joy.”

“I was so glad when Daddy finally added on, though. Going from two bedrooms to five made so much difference.”

“No, we started out with three bedrooms. Don’t you remember Janet’s room, behind the kitchen?”

“That room made a good sized pantry, but it was never intended to be used as a bedroom. Mom put me in there because there wasn’t room anywhere else.”

“Well, in my opinion, it was much better used as a pantry.”

“Oh, that hurt…”

“All right, you guys.”

“Mom did love to cook and bake. What I wouldn’t give for one of her pies…” As she spoke, Cheryl’s hand lovingly moved along the worn countertop.

“Every year, we’d put up dozens and dozens of jars of fruit and vegetables, and what didn’t fit on the shelves, we’d freeze.”

“Mom was always happiest during harvest.” Ben’s comment brought a smile to even Bill’s face.

Wandering through the rest of the empty house continued to bring back memories, but it also reminded them of the sorry condition of the house. Once so tenderly cared for, the years had stolen all the charm it once held.

“If only she would have let us help.”

She was so independent after Dad died.”

“Do you suppose she really didn’t know how bad the house had become?”

Nobody could answer that.

Looking at his watch, Bill quietly said, “It’s just about time.”

None of them could bear to stay. As the last of their cars drove away, the bulldozer arrived. Within a few hours, only memories would remain of their childhood home.


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This article has been read 466 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Marilyn Schnepp 06/06/08
Even though I didn't know the family that lived in this house, tears came to my eyes as they walked away and the bulldozer arrived. Very well written, and made one feel as if they knew the people there, and could picture it as it once was. Nicely done! I grinned at the mention of Jeremiah the bullfrog...my own memories of "The Three Dog Nights" song...Joy to the World. Kudos!
Jan Ackerson 06/06/08
Good way to show the memories of a family home.
Beth LaBuff 06/06/08
I totally enjoyed my nostalgic walk and seeing this home place. I loved the bedroom/pantry "discussion". :) I've seen this (old houses torn down) so many times, especially in the country. Excellent and creative work on this heart-warming and heart-tugging piece.
Betty Castleberry06/08/08
Oh, the ending made me sad. You painted some lovely memories. Nicely done.
Debbie Wistrom06/08/08
Oh, not the bulldozer....

You misted me up with the ening,well done!
Joanne Sher 06/08/08
Wonderful descriptions, and you did a particularly well with the characterization of the siblings. Nicely done!
Kristen Hester 06/08/08
Very good, clear and easy-to-follow writing. This flows nicely and paints a lovely, tender and sad picture. Great job.
Lyn Churchyard06/08/08
A lovely nostalgic piece. The dialogue flowed beautifully as you took me on a small journey through the house. I was hoping they would keep it and when the bulldozer moved in I had a lump in my throat.
Dee Yoder 06/09/08
Aww, so many sad endings to old family homesteads. Many descriptive sentences in your story gave me vivid images of the walk about the children were having. Very tender and touching.
Norma-Anne Hough 06/09/08
Very moving and beautiful. The ending was inevitable but so sad. One thing the bulldozer could never do though is take away your memories. Thanks for sharing.
Norms
LaNaye Perkins06/10/08
This brought tears to my eyes. It was like watching an old friend die. You did a great job writing this piece.
Joshua Janoski06/11/08
The dialogue between the siblings in this piece was very good. I could picture them walking along, surveying the home and teasing each other. An enjoyable read. Thank you for sharing.
Gerald Shuler 06/11/08
A walk down memory land certainly has a lot of power. I was recalling the same feeling about my own childhood home, which also became food for a bulldoser.

Beautifully written story.
Verna Cole Mitchell 06/11/08
This beautifully written piece left footprints on my heart. Your memories tied together with the sibling characters were just right.
Beckie Stewart06/11/08
I really enjoyed this and was sad it was being destroyed.
Bryan Coomes06/11/08
Well done. I enjoyed the bantering among the siblings and your descriptions/character recollections brought me to the family home...just before the bulldozer.
Lollie Hofer06/11/08
What a wonderful walk down memory lane. Sometimes when there are so many characters in a story it can become confusing. You did an excellent job of identifying the siblings. It was easy to follow their different personalities. The dialogue was well done. This whole piece flowed smoothly all the way through to the sad ending.
Sarah Engle06/18/08
Oh! This one nearly made me cry! How sad! And yet, the memories were happy...hence the term you used, "bittersweet." I don't think they should bulldoze it...fix it up again!
Sarah Engle06/18/08
Oh...and Jeremiah was a turtle in this story, comment #1. :) I thought of the same thing, though and thought it would have been funny to make him a bullfrog! :)


   
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