The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
06/05/08
I want what you have.
How often my friends have I not sought out peace in your "Storm Haven". Bless you for sharing not only your home but your hearts.
Love Norms
06/06/08
I like your names "Storm Haven" and "Hebron". My kids listened to the "Psalty" tapes too… the songs were great. I liked that you included the "Parrots screech" and "dogs greet stranger" in your "music flows from every room". What a fun, welcoming home. Excellent advice and wisdom for a godly home in this.
06/07/08
Your home sounds wonderful! I'm an empty-nester now, but your home sounds like ours when the children were younger. Very nice.

Take a look at the number of times you use quotation marks. Almost all of them can be eliminated without changing the meaning of your sentences, and it'll give your piece a less cluttered look. Quite frequently, quotation marks indicate that you're using irony or sarcasm, and it undermines what you're trying to say.

Very nice descriptions in this entry.