The Official Writing Challenge
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05/29/08
Definitely NOT angelic! Snake-like, maybe? LOL. This was an entertaining read, especially the second half.
Great story telling of this disillusioning experience.
05/29/08
You sure got me! I was expecting another wild escapade.. not the ending that actually happened. Great job.
05/29/08
Great story. I like the way the "adventurers" had their escapades found out, not suspecting anything.
Oh, to have your childhood heros decloaked...I was hoping your MC would finally have an adventure.
I thought your story worked well even without a great deal of dialogue. It certainly kept my attention! Too bad he was disappointed by his non-angelic cousins in the end, but it was a good growing and learning experience.
06/02/08
Good job with the natural-sounding dialogue, and the double meaning of the title.
Sounds to me like the cousins were snakes themselves, feeding you all of those lies. LOL. I have a cousin who loves to embellish the truth and make things sound so much bigger than they are, so I could relate to this. Thank you for sharing.
Loved reading this Esther. What rats the cousins were, definitely nothing angelic about them. Great job on the boy's dialogue.
Hehe, fun story. I kinda suspected the stories might be embellished, but it was still fun to find out for sure.
06/05/08
Such an entertaining read...well done, Esther!
06/05/08
Very good story! Finding out the truth about one's cousins is sometimes hard. My only critique would be that in this sentence, "I was sick and tired of my little sisters whining, even though I knew exactly how she felt.", the sisters should show possession or the "she felt" should be they.
06/05/08
Excellent writing Esther, I really enjoyed the read.
The process of making up the story and then determining who would be the hero was hysterical.
Good pacing and characters!
06/05/08
LOL I love your title. Oh those cousins are going to be in for it now that she's on to them. Makes me want to see what happens next.