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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Cousin(s) (05/22/08)

TITLE: Bumpity Bump
By Sally Hanan
05/29/08


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She lowered her fan down and up again. That split second gave her enough time to run her eyes across the carpet and up into his beautiful face. She giggled.

Sasha’s body gave a small shudder of laughter beside her. “I told you, Anechka!”

Anechka sighed. “A god, to be sure. How will he ever find you, o fair one? Will he walk across the room and kneel before you with desires of marriage?”

Sasha moved her fan for another look. “Once he looks at my soft cheeks with rosy hues he will be unable to stay where he is. My yellow silk that accents my blue eyes with hints of green will stand like a beacon in this smorgasbord of color. His eyes will meet mine and we will melt together into wedded bliss.” She turned away from the fascinating sight and folded her fan into her palm. “And don’t get any ideas, Anechka, he is mine. I saw him first.”

Sasha raised one eyebrow. Anechka did not see it move. Lifting up her pleats of purple fabric, she began to rustle her way across the room to the handsome stranger. She seemed to barely hear the jagged intake of breath behind her. She came to a stop before the young man and Sasha could imagine her cousin’s eyelashes being raised to meet his gaze.
***
All proceedings came to a standstill. “No fair Sally!! You said I could be the one who he falls for!”

“Oh quit your whining Annie. This story needs a beautiful heroine as the main character, and let’s be honest, I’m it. I’m the best writer, and if you want this play to make hearts go bumpity bump, then you need to let me call the shots.”

“This play was_my_idea! You can’t just barge in to MY play and change everything just because you want to be the main character. I’m the star of the show. I’m the one to tell YOU what to do. I don’t care how you write. I don’t care that you’re here for the whole month and that Mom told me I had to be nice to you….”

“Oh, get over yourself Annie. Who cares about your stupid play anyway?” Sally threw the story into the trash can and twirled her body out the door as tears began to form in Annie’s eyes.

Later, Annie knelt by her bed, the pain still fresh. Word by word, she handed her agony over to God and promised to let him deal with her cousin. All thoughts of vengeance were soothed away in his peace, and once her cheeks caressed the pillow, sleep came easily. A body crept into the room later and slinked between the sheets of the bed across from Annie. Sally did not sleep well that night.
***
Two weeks later, both families sat down to watch a play in Annie’s living room. They had not noticed the new demeanor on Sally’s face, nor did they see her pat the small cross necklace she had bought herself, but Annie did. They smiled conspiratorially as they took their places for the opening scene.

A fan was lowered for a split second while a pair of eyes ran the carpet and up into two imaginary beautiful faces. Anechka giggled.

Sasha’s body gave a small shudder of laughter beside her. “I told you the twins were becoming, Anechka!”


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This article has been read 859 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Sara Harricharan 05/29/08
Cute! I love the title of "bumpity bump" and how the two finally seem to be 'working together'. So glad for them! ^_^
Shirley McClay 05/29/08
Awww.. so cute.. I was always forcing my cousins into plays as a kid so I really connected.
Amy Michelle Wiley 05/30/08
Oh, this was so fun! I cringed at how a couple of things were written in the first part, but when I discovered it was the girls' writing, it was perfect. My cousins and I started a story once with sort-of-ourselves as the main characters. Fun memories.
Peter Stone05/31/08
Cute, so they worked out their differences by changing the romantic interest into twins, one for each of them.
Verna Cole Mitchell 05/31/08
I really enjoyed the story, illustrating how God works in children's hearts. I love how they settled their differences.
Cheri Hardaway 06/01/08
A creative approach, and I love the title. Blessings, Cheri
Betty Castleberry06/01/08
Fun and well written. I love the twist at the end.
Beth LaBuff 06/02/08
There's a lot of good stuff in this. I especially like the girls' stage names. :) And yes, great title in light of your story.
Jan Ackerson 06/02/08
Very cute! I suspected right away that we were reading something written or performed by youngsters, and I was highly amused. Actually, that was my favorite part of the entry!

Great title, sweet story.
Joshua Janoski06/03/08
I liked how they were able to come up with a compromise that allowed them both to meet the boy of their dreams in the play. Very cool.
Loren T. Lowery06/04/08
Reminds me of the commraderie found in the family of "Little Women". Enjoyed the dialouge and the challenge of wits between the two cousins.
LauraLee Shaw06/04/08
Cute title and a great, UNLAME story. Well done!
Debbie Wistrom06/04/08
I noticed how youtied the beginning to the end with the beginning scene of the girls' play. I love the childhood imagiantion you portrayed here, it brings back memories.