Itís been a long time since weíve seen or spoken to one another. Iíll be leaving this world a bit sooner than I expected so I thought I should leave you a note and share whatís happened in my life.
Iíve had three more fathers since weíve been together. Theyíve all been very different from one another. Iíll tell you a little about them. At the time, I thought the first one was terribly mean. He expected me to follow many rules. He expected my homework to be finished before I left the house to play, and he also expected me to be home before the street lights turned on.
Never forced to follow rules before, I wasnít very good at it. He didnít even allow me to spend time with boys, unless he or Mom sat close by. He also forced me to attend his family functions. And if I skipped school, he punished me. Can you imagine! You never did any of those things, Daddy.
After awhile he became tired of me ignoring his rules. Mom became tired of making excuses for me ignoring his rules and became angry with me too. I decided to make everyone happy and run away from home. I didnít get very far. He made sure I was found, but he decided to ask Mom and me to find a new place to live after that.
I was glad things could return to normal again. But not long after, my second father came along. He had an even bigger house and I had a beautiful, big bedroom. He didnít mind at all what I did or where I went. It was great! We only spent time together during holidays, which he mostly spent sitting in a chair drinking from a glass that made my eyes water and his nose red.
However, he too had a few rules he expected me to follow. I didnít like his rules much either. He preferred I stayed in my bedroom when he came home from work. He also preferred I didnít use the shower in the bathroom, but he gave me my very own bathroom to use. Although, instead of being appreciative I complained.
ďDonít complain," my mother said. "Itís just a few feet outside. Youíll only be cold for a minute.Ē
It didnít bother me too much in the summer, except for the bugs. However, in the winter I snuck inside when he left for work to use the shower. He always managed to find out, which made him angry.
Mom even had a difficult time adhering to his rules. Sheíd never been much for cooking and cleaning, but she tried real hard. After awhile she became weary and ill in her mind and couldnít keep everything the way he liked it. Not long after that, Mom and I returned home to find out that our house key no longer fit in the door knob. Thank God for Grandma!
Finally, I met my last father, who believe it or not, is really my first father. He knew me even before you did. He expected more from me than all of my fathers. However, He gave me more than any of them. Also, he never judged me for all the bad things Iíd done, and he loved me very much. More than anyone, ever!
He even forgave when I disappointed Him. The best thing of all, Daddy, is that no matter what I do or where I go He promised Heíll never leave me. He even gave me a book with instructions to help me follow his rules. Iíve learned many new things and because of Him Iíve been able to teach others what Iíve learned. Itís the best book Iíve ever read. One of the things I read in the book is something I find rather ironic. It says, ďThe first will be last and the last shall be first.Ē Thatís exactly what happened with you and Him.
Even though youíve been last on my list to contact for quite some time, Iím not mad at you anymore, Daddy. Iím not even sad. If I knew where you were Iíd give you one of those books my new father gave me. However, since I donít, Iíll put one in my drawer for you with this letter and pray youíll find it one day. Even better, Iíll pray that one day youíll too meet my new father and we can all be a family together.
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