The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
05/30/08
This is gripping, and I love the ending!
Excellent story with great atmosphere. The dialogue is good and I especially liked ‘You are an unnecessary burden on us.’ Zorava erupted. ‘You have never been to sea. In fact you are no more than a glorified scribe, employed to make sure that every grain and every drop of strong drink is accounted for. It is no more than the paranoia of one who believes us to be likely thieves. Apart from that, your only duty is to remind us endlessly of the terms of our employment.’
I almost cheered when Porith ended up in the water. Loved the ending too. Good job Mick :-)
I enjoyed the atmosphere and the dialogue throughout this piece. The ending seemed a little abrupt, as there was no earlier indication that the boy was a "her" or that she was tied up. I loved the pompous character landing in the water. Very strong writing.
Haha. Porith got what he deserved! I enjoyed this tale very much. Good job immersing the reader in the world.
Congratulations Mick, on your Highly Commended for your Cousin entry. Well done my friend.
06/06/08
I love stories where the reader finds herself (himself) rooting for the hero. If this were a movie, the audience would have cheered right along with the crew when the captian's nemesis (sp?) found himself in the water. Congratulations! Well done.