The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
05/29/08
What an entertaining voice in this story, and you wrote it well. I love this line:
I turned that other cheek so many times, my neck was hurtin.
Well done!
06/04/08
I love that in just 750 words, this character underwent a significant transformation. That you made it seem so natural and unforced is a testament to your ability--and I love your narrator's voice. Great idioms, really super read.
06/04/08
Your voice here is just perfect...as is your message. It's difficult to be entertaining and convicting at the same time, but you managed very well.
06/04/08
Well done! This was a very entertaining read, and yet so different and creative, as well as convicting.
06/04/08
I loved everthing about this. The voice, the message, the coming clean with God and with the reader. I hope this message reaches others and I hope it gets a ribbon tomorrow. Thanks for the brick or I may have missed it this week.
06/04/08
This was wonderful! Great idioms, great POV, great lesson!

You used "Faira See," "Fair a See," and "Fara See" to refer to the Pharisees. I understand the wrong spelling to be in keeping with the "voice" of the speaker, but I think I would have misspelled it the same way each time.

That one criticism aside, I LOVED this piece. Awesome job. Blessings, Cheri
06/04/08
Great story... I especially loved that I could hear her voice... the way she talked. I kept thinking she was man for some reason. Not sure why.
06/04/08
I love the voice of you MC. This was a powerful story with a powerful message. Great writing.
06/04/08
Hmmm, great way of puttin 'stomped' I loved the voice of this piece and especially that "fairesee" Very creative twist here, especially at the end. The italics sort of cinched it for me. ^_^
06/04/08
I loved the MC's accent and how you took a topic like "cousins" and actually put a really good lesson in it for all of us to absorb and carry with us.

I really enjoyed this. It was a blessing to read.
06/04/08
You always have the greatest phrases in your entries. I love these, "Cause she'd lie to the Pope and steal from a baby" and "I did business with God." Your lessons "cut to the quick." Great work on this, Dianne.
06/04/08
Great job in presenting the character's unique dialog, and effective story at illustrating the parable of the 'Faira See.' I think many people need to hear this. Note that you spelt 'Faira See' in three different ways. Was this deliberate?
06/04/08
Fabulous voice Dianne, I thought the "stompin the tulips" piece was masterfully done.

Great work!!