The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
05/29/08
So cute! What a fun memory to have caught forever in a photo.
Excellent description--a picture captured in words.
Very descriptive and visual. I can see the picture clearly.
06/02/08
Very cute description of a Sunday afternoon fifty-odd years ago. Oh for the "good ol' days" and Sunday afternoon picnics with family and friends. You painted a very vivid picture of two little friend-cousins and their "kiss" to please the adults, forever captured, to the embarrassment of the cousins and pleasure of the adults. Very good....Helen
06/03/08
I love the "Sunday-go-to-meeting" phrase. I remember the "Peter Pan collar" and the "Brownie camera" too. This is a wonderfully written story about a "gold moment forever captured". Great title for this.
A wonderful piece of reminiscing. I just loved "the two semi-angels in semi-white" so descriptive. Oh yes, I well remember Peter Pan collars and box brownie cameras. One thing confused me though, at the end you said: "My brother? Well, he’s just as embarrassed today as he was then." Wayne started out as your cousin... did I miss something in the story? This was a great story, I loved it.
06/04/08
How precious--such a tiny slice of life--almost nothing to it, but you've made it a charming story, and the ending is a lovely, lovely touch.
This was very enjoyable to read. All for the cutest picture ever! Love it.
06/04/08
Loved the description in this article. You've captured the era well. For some reason, all along, I thought Brenda and Wayne were cousins, not brother and sister. Must have assumed or not read carefully enough. Nice job. Blessings, Cheri
Loved the touch of red at the end.
This was charming and I too wanted to "puddle with the ducks."
You have absolutely captured this moment in time perfectly. It is almost as if I were reading a page of my own diary. Wonderful writing, just wonderful!
06/04/08
Your dialogue is realistic, your descriptions are excellent, and the creative touches are the cherry on the top. Well done!
06/04/08
lol! How cute! I loved the similar thoughts in italics, of yuk-why'd I want to do that and why'd he want to do that? So cute and fun! I loved it! ^_^
I had this all pictured very clearly in my mind. Your kids were charming and it's well written, too. Kudos.
The descriptions are what make this piece really shine. They painted a vivid picture in my mind. Thank you for sharing this.
This was a delight! Great dialogue and descritions.
Oh this was adorable. I could clearly see these two cousins. Well done!