The Official Writing Challenge
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05/29/08
Clever story. I had to read it twice to see the clues you left at the beginning. Well-written.
05/29/08
You beginning really got my interest with the "bones of his victims, scattered in a criss-cross pattern" and "air was thick with the rancid smell of steaming vengeance." I had to smile at your place-name "Chickenfoot." I've heard of Mexican Train dominoes, but not chickenfoot. It all made sense after I got to the end, "bones", "double six", "caressing the pits". Love your disclaimer. Your story is amazing and your writing is excellent with your word choices and descriptions! Love it!
Thanks for the disclaimer, I know nothing about dominos. Very interesting, it caught my attention and made me want to read to figure it out.
And the last line was very witty.
~Ree~
06/02/08
Very clever! What a surprise ending; never saw it coming! I have heard of the game Chickenfoot, but never The Mexican Train game, or I might have clued in earlier. Cute endearment, the word "scuz," to refer to the step-cousin. Nice work, Cheri
06/02/08
Hilarious, Aaron! And very clever of you to make your readers re-read the thing immediately, once they get the twist! One of my absolute favorites this week!
Man, you are somethin' else Mr :-) I really was expecting to see blood and guts any minute.

"Caleb’s gaze dropped to my hands as I reached down and stroked my sixes." okay, sure... we got a pair of six guns here fer sure! You really had me going Aaron and even your clue Take a humorous ride with me! in your hinting post slipped my mind.

Great writing my friend, great writing :-)


06/04/08
Aha! Well done!!! Very clever and entertaining.
Very very clever and you are right-FUN.

Well written as well.

06/04/08
ROFL! I absolutely loved this! It was such fun, and so hilarious to see all that suspense and everything come down to a good game of dominos. The disclaimer had me chuckling though-awesome writing! ^_^
Oh my! This story was awesome! I loved how you made it seem like a western, and then you surprised the reader at the end with the domino play.

You sir are well on your way to some ECs and a move up to masters if you keep crankin' out writing like this. This one is going on my favorites list. I sense a placer here. :)
Congratulations on placing with this masterfully written entry.
1st Place AND an EC Award. Super, super happy for you my friend. Well done!!
06/05/08
1st Place and an EC! CONGRATULATIONS on a well-deserved win! This was a delightful article! Blessings, Cheri
Oh, this is excellent, and sooo humorous. You had me going for a while. COngratulations on your well-deserved EC!
06/05/08
I just learned to play Mexican train this past year. It was fun before but I am certain I will never look at it the same. Clever writing and a well deserved win.
06/05/08
Aaron, this is hilarious! Great job! Never played Chickenfoot, but I love to play Mexican Train. Very clever telling of a story. Well deserved win! :)
06/05/08
I LOVE being blind-sided. What a hoot! I can hear you chuckling while writing this piece, knowing exactly where you wanted it to go. Congratulations on a VERY well-deserved win.
I started catching on right before you revealed the twist, but I couldn't figure out how the beating fit in until I read it again and realize it wasn't a literal beating. Ha, good one!
06/06/08
Wow...this was amazingly clever. I was confused for a while, but once I got it and re-read it, I was amazed at all of the word-play and puns and misleading descriptions. Excellent!
06/06/08
So clever! At first read, it seemed like actual murders, a dead father, and a gun-duel taking place. But once I got to Mexican Train, dominoes, etc, the 'pieces' started falling into place. His father was not killed but beaten at dominoes.
06/07/08
Congratulations! Fabulous piece of writing...loved it, loved it.
06/07/08
AH! This was SO good! I loved the line, " He tapped the pearl on his piece, caressing the pits worn into its surface."
Very cleverly written...loved it. Congrats on the win!
06/10/08
Sure glad I'm not the only one who had to read this story twice. In fact, I read it three times. And it is a good thing you put the explanation at the end. I know nothing about dominoes, except what they look like...After reading it a third time, I was relieved that there was no actual killing of your daddy... Congratulations on your win. I usually don't read comments first, before giving mine, but in this case I am glad I did. It helped me clue in...It is a cleverly written piece of prose...Helen