The Official Writing Challenge
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05/29/08
Chilling.. I had goosebumps for the first half of the story. So glad he didn't kill them both.
05/29/08
The lesson is an important one to learn—we are all related and when we allow prejudice to drive us to madness, we end up harming our own. Riveting story.
This story was suspenseful, beginning to end, excellently written with an excellent truth portrayed.
05/31/08
A very visual, chilling piece. I was engaged all the way through.
You've done a good job in the telling of this thought provoking story. It's message is one that everyone needs to hear and heed.
Riveting. This reads like part of a larger work. I would like to see it expanded. Very well done.
Gripping story, and such a powerful message here, too. Excellent writing.
06/01/08
All I can say, reading this, is that the judges will have a difficult time this week! Your skill at telling this tale was incredible. You had me, all the way. Your tale could take a non-reader and turn him into a reader for life! Short, dramatic, suspenseful, lush with detail. Congratulations!
06/01/08
They don't call this level "Masters" for nothing: Your story is powerful, gripping, compelling, and masterful. What an incredible truth buried in this story about cousins. Wonderful use of the topic. Excellent work. Blessings, Cheri
Suspenseful, chilling and moving. All the ingredients for a best selling novel. You've done it again Peter. Well done, Very well done indeed.
06/01/08
Wow! You have written a strong story here. The tension could really be felt.
Well done..
This played out like a Hollywood blockbuster movie. I could see everything perfectly in my mind, and I heard the intense dialogue during the scene with the gun. Awesome story!
06/02/08
You are SUCH a strong writer! This unfolds very cinematically, and the suspense and tension are palpable. It's no wonder that you're dominating the challenges this quarter! Well done!
The tension when Alexi is talking to the girl is gripping.

The flash from Jesus is quick, but so sell done that we catch it.

This is one of my favorites this week.
06/04/08
Suspense. Drama. Awesome stuff.
Masterful descriptions and characterization, like this:
Tears stained her dust-caked cheeks. Gnawing doubt blossomed into fear.
Oh WOW! This was awesome. You had me on the edge of me seat. Great writing my Faith Writer friend!
06/04/08
Lots of suspense going on here! I'm glad he didn't kill both of them, I felt bad for the girl.
Oh my. What a powerful piece of writing.
Your writing is so tight, so intense that I couldn't possibly be torn away from this story! You're the best!
06/04/08
Wow… very creative… If this were a book, I wouldn't have put it down. Great work.
06/05/08
Excellent work Peter, very realistic characters and the resolution was outstanding.
06/05/08
C O N G R A T U L A T I O N S !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1ST PLACE IS AWWWWWESOME! Way to go!
WAY TO GO PETER!
1st Place and an EC to boot!! woo hoo. I'm so excited for you. :-)
06/05/08
1st Place and an EC! Excellent work! Blessings, Cheri
06/05/08
Congrats on your win with this awesome story!
I'm so glad to see this story at the top of the list where it belongs. Congratulations!
Strong story. I would have liked a few more clues to figure out where this took place, since I didn't recognize any names, but good job. Congrats on the EC.
06/05/08
Excellent win Peter. You deserved it with this kind of writing.
06/05/08
Powerful story with strong verbage. It doesn't get any better than this. (Don't be surprised if Hollywood comes knocking. :)) Congratulations on this incredibly well-written piece and for placing at the top. It was well-deserved.
Congratulations! Wow, this is such a keep you on your edge of the seat piece. Love it! Relieved that he didn't kill anyone else. We need to hear more stories like this. None of us are better than the bitter cousin, as we too kill one another's spirit with our actions or words, with our own bitterness or selfish for giving this to you! Great job!! Janice
I couldn't edit what I said but I typoed. I meant we often destroy one another's spirit through our words or actions of selfishness or bitterness,etc. Praise the Lord for giving this to you was what I was attempting to tell you. :0) I keep tripping over my fingers this morning.LOL. God bless you. Janice
06/06/08
Kept me tense and wondering all the way through. Good job.
06/06/08
H Peter - congratulations on first place. Excellent writing, great story.
06/07/08
Wow, Peter...this was amazing. What a masterful piece of writing. Congratulations on your win, it was well deserved.
06/07/08
Wow! What a suspensful story! Congratulations on a well-deserved win. How many of us would have the courage that cousin had, to step in and defend a helpless girl? I wonder! Great writing. It's so hard to tell a story like that in only 750 words....Helen