The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
05/29/08
Wow... heartrending. Loved this paragraph... So our voices rose to Him, there in the middle of the African plains. He was new to us, yet I felt somehow we were not new to Him, that He had been waiting for this time, waiting for us.
The story, the emotions, the descriptions are awesome in this piece. Masterfully done.
05/30/08
your article is very good at placing your reader in the scene. Keep up the good work.
05/31/08
Absolutely masterfully written. Your descriptions are rich and disturbing, and the dialog is incredible. Just excellent.
05/31/08
What a powerful entry. Wow! Its very thought- provoking. Lovely. Beautiful in spite of the devastation around them. Love this.
Laury
06/01/08
Your descriptions here put me in the midst of battle, even as I sat, safely at my computer. Such is the skill of a talented writer, to transpose us to another place, even when it's a place we don't prefer. You really strutted your stuff here. Great skills.
Powerful story! I felt like I was thee, observing the horror. Your ending was excellent and hopeful.
06/01/08
Wonderful title! Very poignant piece. Gripping. Awesome job, Cheri
06/01/08
Your descriptions are breath-taking and your story line is gripping. Wow. Your ending line was beautiful.
06/02/08
Such vivid, stiring descriptions of hate inspired madness let loose on a continent, and the damages it leaves in its wake. Great attention to the small details too.
This reads like a news report by an on-the-spot war correspondent. Close up and personal. I especially loved the last two paragraphs which were so full of hope. Well done Amy, superb job.
06/02/08
Beautiful, Amy, and your last sentence is fantastic!
I don't know how you do it, but every time you manage to pull me right into your stories. I was there at the scene of destruction, and I was escaping with the cousins.

I am glad that you gave the hope of God at the end. What more can I say? Masterful writing in every respect.
06/03/08
Your war aftermath scenes are definitely heart-rending and your title is perfect for this coursins story. The cousins' relationship is beautiful.
Beautifully written, and a powerful message besides. Very well done.
06/04/08
Wow, this was very intense, Amy. Excellent job. ^_^
06/05/08
You managed to convey both despair and hope. I loved this line and the message it conveys "He was new to us, yet I felt somehow we were not new to Him," Well done.
06/05/08
Congratulations on your EC! Nice job! Blessings, Cheri
Congratulations on your EC, Amy!
06/06/08
Congratulations on your well-served win. I enjoyed the flow of the words, several areas had a poetic feel to it in prose form.
06/06/08
Beautifully written! Way to go!