The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 416 times
Member Comments
Very sweet and an enlightening story. Nicely done.
You beginning is so good and perfect for your title. The description of each cousin is very good. It was heart-breaking to read about Max. Your story is wonderful. Is this true?
A very warm story. But as I have been told so many times, "stop telling the story" and show the story by description and perhaps dialogue. Other than that still a good story.
That was both sad and uplifting. What a strange combination. Very good!
What a delighful story! Loved how they loved Jesus. The progression of the years was nicely laid out. The relationship between the counsins was so sweetly connected and then to top it off, they found Jesus together. Wonderful. My only suggestion would be to add some dialogue to your story. It sometimes helps with more "showing" and less "telling."