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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: The Family Pet (05/15/08)

TITLE: 627 Stupid Words!
By Laury Hubrich
05/22/08


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Someone dares look at me through the finger-smudged glass? I poke my head up and with my most unattached, ďI donít careĒ attitude, I stare the culprit down. It doesnít seem to phase him, though, and I lose interest.

I guess Iíll try again. Maybe this time, the face peering down at me from the top of the tank, will take the hint and go away. Oh! Fast movement. Phew. I plopped back into the water. It scared me. Water in the eyes. Just hate water in the eyes.

Oooh, itís a she although not the same she that feeds me. Iím getting awful hungry, by the way. Maybe if I crawl up here on this rock Iíll get something tossed to me.

Again I wait. I donít know what sheís doing. The face keeps staring at me and then she moves her hand up and down and across a white, flat, rock type thing and then looks at me again. Canít she see hunger in my beautiful, brown, beady eyes? Just a little pellet, thatís all I ask.

Maybe if I flaunt this glorious body a little, swim around a bit. OrÖ I could stick my head inside myself, thatís always good for a few laughs. Iím thinking Iíve seen this person before. She looks like the girl that owns me, yet is older, fatter, and grayer. Well, if she can read my thoughts, Iíll never get any food.

Now that was just plain meanness! My owner poured water on me. Who does she think she is anyway? I hate that. GrrrÖ I tried to hide but I canít. Instead, the Peeper can see me all the better as I crawl along the bottom of the tank. I think that was the plan, actually.

Ooooh, kind of ugly she truly is, the peeping intruder. If I stretch my neck up just so, I can get a good peek. Bluck. Just not worth the effort. Food! Food is coming my way. Guess she felt bad that I got drenched with cold water. Must act disinterested, though. SteadyÖ steadyÖ Gulp Ė thereís one. Yummy, yummy food! I see her looking at me. It must be my long neck Ė I take great pride in this neck. It is just so ummmÖ prehistoric. Oh happy day! Four pellets!

Time to crawl onto my favorite rock and dry myself a bit. Nothing like a good rest after supper. Iíll lay here and keep my webbed feet and sharp claws dipped ever so daintily into the water. Ahh, this is the life.

She tapped the glass. Thatís really rather rude. Oh well, Iíll give her a show. One big jump and Iíll plop into the water; maybe even splash some murky goodness on her. Sure wish I knew what she was doing. She has some silly long stick in her hand and brushing it along that white thing.

I hear muffled words, something about writing a challenge entry? Iím going to be the main character in a story? Maybe sheíll make me a super-hero or better yet, put me in a steamy love story. Iíve been ever so lonely in here by myself. A good love story would be just what the vet ordered!

Maybe if I bat my eyes and wiggle my tail sheíll get more inspiration. Oh, she looked away. Iíll try my dog paddle. Thatíll get her. No! Donít go away. Iíve only just begun. HmmmÖ I wonder if sheíll read it to me when sheís done. She didnít even ask me my name. Not one question did she ask me. A Red-Eared Slider I am and proud of it! The best pet a family could ever have. Thatís what she should write about. The best pet ever! Yes!


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This article has been read 759 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Debbie Wistrom05/22/08
Oh!!!! What a title!
LOVED THIS!
POV is wonderful, so glad he got fed!
Teri Wilson05/22/08
This was very clever. I love the opening paragraph. I kept reading to find out what in the world the critter was. At first I thought a fish, but that was quickly ruled out. Love the line about "flaunting my glorious body"! Great job. Blessings, Teri
Beckie Stewart05/22/08
Very cute and creative. You are good girl!
Peter Stone05/22/08
What a title! The descriptions of the turtle are great too, especially about the long neck. I think the article would have had broader appeal if instead of mentioning a Challenge entry, you simply said 'Going to write a short story about me.'
Hmmm, my word checker said 626 words. Where's that extra one hiding...in the turtle's shell?
Joanne Sher 05/23/08
SO cute, clever, and creative. I LOVE the voice (and think I recognize it!:D) - and what a title. Fun!
Joshua Janoski05/23/08
"I take great pride in this neck. It is just so ummmÖ prehistoric."

LOL! That line and a dozen others made me laugh out loud. This is hilarious! It's all about a turtle saying funny stuff, and the person feeding it is you.

Oh, and the title is the best part about it. This story rocks! :)
Marita Thelander 05/23/08
Ok...since everyone is picking favorite lines, here is min:
Iíve been ever so lonely in here by myself. A good love story would be just what the vet ordered!

Nice take on the topic. ; )

Verna Cole Mitchell 05/25/08
Okay, I loved the hilarious voice. A fun entry, for sure! Well done.
Gregory Kane05/26/08
A great voice, wonderfully self-absorbed. And a great tease as to the creatureís identity
Shirley McClay 05/26/08
You truly belong in Masters, Laury! Excellent. You excelled once again!
Chely Roach05/26/08
This was a blast to read! Oh, and I LOVE the title. Hee hee. "Masterfully" written, my dear!
Joy Faire Stewart05/26/08
Sooo creative and love the humor and the voice.
Dee Yoder 05/27/08
Oh my...poor turtle, so misunderstood and lonely. Leave it to you, my Friend, to find inspiration in a turtle! Funny and cute. You made me laugh!
Jan Ackerson 05/27/08
Hey, Laury, great minds...I wrote about a turtle, too.

This was very cute--who knows what goes on in a turtle's teeny brain, huh?

FYI--you wanted "faze", not "phase."

Leigh MacKelvey05/27/08
Great first entry in Masters! I loved the voice, the character and personality of the turtle was very clear through the voice!
Garnet Miller 05/27/08
I thought he was a fish too at first, except a fish doesn't have a neck. How clever and funny. Good job!!
Amy Michelle Wiley 05/27/08
I was just taking a break from homework to read an story that caught my eye. Didn't know it was yours, Auntie, until I saw your name in some comments. :-) Very fun story! I had fun figuring out what kind of animal it was, too. There were a few spots that felt a little stilted, but overall a delightful story.
Betty Castleberry05/28/08
I LOVE this MC. He's a hoot. This was a well written and entertaining read.
LauraLee Shaw05/28/08
CRACKED up over this! You are way too clever for any amount of stupid words!
Sara Harricharan 05/28/08
ROFL! Love your title! I'm still laughing from this, the cute, clever remarks fit the tone and voice just right and the ending was simply perfect! ^_^
Cheri Hardaway 05/28/08
Not sure about the title, but it did draw me in! The POV was unique. The whole time I was reading, I was thinking "Is this a turtle talking?" Very creative. Lots of turtle stories this week! [And the joke's on me if a Red Slider isn't a turtle! =)] Blessings, Cheri
Mariane Holbrook05/28/08
What a funny, funny story! And always told well by you!
LaNaye Perkins05/28/08
This was really cute and I loved the POV. Well done!
Lyn Churchyard05/29/08
Now, this is creative. A story from a turtles POV. Sounds as thought Mr T has a bit of an attitude problem. Some wonderfully witty lines in this, well done. I just love the title, but it's a lie I'm afraid; not stupid at all. Very well done in fact.