The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
01/24/05
I have to say I wondered from the beginning if the internal war was with food - a woman somehow knows these things! Our number one desire DOES tend to be chocolate! This was a great piece (your thinking fudge right now, aren't you? But I'm talking about your writing)
Loved it!
Blessings, Lynda
01/24/05
Very cute! I had a feeling it was gonna be food of some kind myself. But you did a good job trying to trick us. Good writing.
Great job! I know this battle too well. Loved the back and forth with your mind. I knew it was going to be food too, but it was still a great story.
01/24/05
Ooooooooh... what temptation! That's just cruel! I've already had my chocolate for today! Eh... we'd do well to apply our knowledge of temptation to many areas of life... but chocolate is the best example! Sometimes, I am so jealous of my son. Can you believe he dislikes chocolate!? I know... he's just weird! I just pray all other temptations are so easy for him to pass up! He's 15... so far, so good. Praise the Lord!
01/24/05
How many of us can identify with this internal war? Very well said. Makes me feel guilty just reading it! :0)
01/24/05
I can't decide if this was supposed to be light-hearted and humorous at the end, or if it's supposed to be serious.

I understand the internal wrestling match, having walked those grounds before myself, and that part was well presented. But to associate chocolate with sin...is this a piece about gluttony? Is it to be understood that God has told the main character not to go to the chocolate shop, and her flesh is betraying her? Is the guilt really a necessary byproduct of failing to obey God, or is it an unnecessary byproduct of a woman failing to live up to her own unrealistic self-expectations?

Maybe it's just that I'm a guy and I don't understand...chocolate means nothing to me...and therein lies the problem...the assumption must be that I choose a substitute from my life that I can swap for chocolate and try to relate to the piece on a personal level. A reasonable assumption - except again, I can't tell whether this is a light-hearted piece or a serious one, so I don't know which area of my life to look for to locate that substitute.

Emough of that, sorry.

All things considered, the submission was well-crafted, and I thank you for submitting it. Food for thought, if you'll pardon the pun.
01/25/05
I get where the writer is going with this--that, for the character, eating this chocolate is a form of idolatry. Anything we put in God's rightful place in our lives could qualify!

For her, giving in to this temptation is just as wrong as participating in adultery would be wrong for anybody.

Chocolate as an object is neutral, and eating it, in and of itself, is not wrong. But USING chocolate to "make you feel better" is the kind of territory the writer (I assume a woman!) is talking about--especially if this is a long-engrained personal pattern.

I think the ending is deadly serious.
Uh...I just ate a Milky Way. Seriously though, I totally understood where you were going and ended up with this story. Good job. God bless you.