The Official Writing Challenge
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I really like how you showed through the words spoken at Jack's funeral what really matters in our lives...the effects of living out our Christian lives. I was glad, too, for the narrator to see how wrong he'd been. Good story.
05/16/08
Ouch. You successfully portrayed a man who let pride blind his eyes so completely to the truth. So sad for his wife too, that she suffered so much from his arrogance.
05/16/08
Excellent characterization especially - and the transformation in your MC is masterfully done. Excellent piece.
05/16/08
First of all, this is masterfully done. You did an incredible job of pulling the reader into the story, I felt all sorts of emotions. I like how you SHOWED their sorrow, first the wife's and then the husband's. You didn't have to say they were sorrowful, we saw it and felt it through your powerful verbs. Well done! I have several favorites this week from this group...you are all fantastic at your craft...but this one really stands out.
Superb story. This is excellent writing. Bravo.
What a message and so well written, drawing your reader into the scene. Great MC voice.
05/18/08
The middle is strong. Confused by the reference in the first line to stepping into a catbox. A little bummed by the quickness of his "cracking" at the very end. Didn't really seem to fit. It's a solid entry overall, but I kept looking for more of a reason for the guy to be so bitter at his father-in-law. Political differences didn't seem to be enough to warrant the bile and venom. I realize you're limited by the word count limit, and really, I'm glad I read it. But it seemed a little too unfocused.
Wow, this was good. Sad that MC realized too late the truth about his FIL, but glad for the change in him. Realistic to how life is many times. This was an excellent piece.
05/20/08
Very well told, exposing your bitterness. I could relate in a way, about my father in law, but death has a way of cleansing bitter feelings, just as it did with you, by your wife's response to the testimony about what Jack meant to that witness. I am glad that the tears came for you. God gave us the ability to cry, as a means of washing our souls of grief. Good! Good! Good!...Helen
Wonderful message, and expertly written. I am sorry I missed this the first time around. Congratulations on your EC. This piece deserves it.
Wow. You did an awesome job of fleshing out your MC. I'm happy to see this well-written entry place high this week. Congratulations!
05/22/08
"I, too, cry ugly." What a powerful ending for a powerful story.
Wow! I missed your entry earlier this week. It's powerful and very different than most. Great job, and Congratulations! You've still got it!
05/23/08
Congrats Marilee... what a great story. It hit me in the heart to see his revelation come too late about Jack. What a wonderfully good lesson about false judgement of others because of pride. Thanks for this. And WELCOME BACK! We missed you.
05/23/08
Congratulations on your EC. This is an amazing piece. Love the voice. Such a great message in here.