"What are you doin', Daddy?" I asked.
"Looking for a job that Daddy is qualified for."
"Because Daddy needs a job so he can feed you."
"Because jobs are where mommies and daddies get money."
"Oh. Well, how do you know if you're qualified for the job?"
"I look at what it says here on the screen. See?" Daddy scooted over so I could read it. "It tells me what I have to do so I can be good at the job."
"Oh." That got me to thinking. I looked real hard at the computer screen and read all the words, even thought I didn't know what some of them meant. "So Daddy, any one can post something like that on the internet and find someone to do a job?"
"Hmmm." I ran off to my room. I had some work to do. I got out my pencil and began to write.
Wanted: The Perfect Brother
By Billy, age 8 1/2
I started talking to myself as I wrote. "I know those fancy ones on the computer didn't have names on it, but my teacher Ms. Green says we should always write our names on our papers. And I put my age just 'cuz." I got back to writing. This was kind of fun.
I'm looking for the perfect brother. He should be 6... no, 7 years old, and have blond hair just like mine. He should be four feet tall. He should call me "Billy, the Best Big Brother in Baltimore."
My brother must
Eat all of my peas, carrots, and broccoli
Play with me whenever I want him to
Take the blame for all the bad stuff I do
Do all my homework and carry all my books
Give me all of his desserts and pudding cups
Play games with me and let me win
Let me call him "The worst little brother ever"
Give me all of his allowance money
Buy me really big presents
"Hmm..." That was a pretty good list. "I just learned about lists in school, you know." Then I decided I should put things I don't want him to do. Just in case.
My brother must not
Pick on me
Play with me when I don't want him to
Call me names
Hit, kick, shove, or bite me
Tell on me when I do something bad
Lock my in my room by holding onto the doorknob and not letting go.
Play with my toys
Make me cry
Make me do things I don't want to do
"My brother did that to me once, you know."
Call Billy the Best Big Brother in Baltimore at 555-2618.
"There. That looks great." I could always add more stuff later if I thought of it. I took my list back to Daddy.
"Daddy, will post this on the internet?"
I showed him my list. Daddy put his hand over his mouth, and started sniffling, like he had a cold or something.
"Uh, sure, Billy. I'll put it on my blog, and then anyone who wants to can read it."
"Oh, goody." I hopped off of Daddy's lap and ran over to the phone.
"What are you doing?" Daddy asked me.
I smiled. "Oh, just waiting for the phone to ring."
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