The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
01/24/05
I am moved to tears. I don't know if I'm just a sap, or if it takes knowing the loss of a sacred tie that tears my heart up to read this. Well done. No... much more than well done.
01/24/05
I like what you attempted here, and you've mostly succeeded, I think. The piece could be trimmed of unnecessary words - to the tune of about 10% - and it would benefit. If I may keep in theme, this piece is a diamond in the rough. The strong sentiments carry the piece over the rough spots fairly easily, but a little more polish would do wonders for this.

Thanks for submitting it. It is in the right category.
01/28/05


Good entry and I like the hope given at the end.

Kathy
I felt like I was watching one of those old black and white movies on television. Great job. God bless you.
01/29/05
Absolutely equisite in what was said, and not said as well. I was a little fuzzy in the role of the narrator in the actual drama itself -- but I have some guesses, perhaps that could be clearer. Overall, however, the description of events past and present were well depicted and seamless. The ending and its symbolism I think is marvelous, and could stand for a little less justification in narration, and letting it speak for itself the volumes that it does. This is truly a wonderful piece.