The Official Writing Challenge
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Very, VERY rich characterization and descriptions. I was completely enraptured and engaged in this story. Beautifully executed.
This is so rich in detail that I can see your toes making wiggly marks in the sand. It's a lovely piece, but sad and convincing. I love your using the merry-go-round as a backdrop because the sameness of your going around and around gives you freedom to think and probe your mind about your place in the family. I just want to pick you up and hug you and tell you I love you and need a little girl just like you! Very well done!
I like the first person you've used. It makes it seem very real. You've made me feel sorry for this little girl and wish I could fix everything for her. Wonderful descriptions, and all around excellent writing.
Escellent! Every detail is so realistic and rich. I ached each time she grabbed her sides!
Excellent, almost with a stream-of-consciousness feel. Great details.

Something to think about is the use of present tense; I'm not sure it works with a young child's voice. Purely a stylistic choice, though. This is a beautiful piece.
So poignant and rich with description--it breaks my heart. Outstanding.
I can SO identify with this little girl, even though I never experienced what she did. Your piece has the earmarks of a top notch writer.
I liked the way this flowed with almost random thoughts from the MC. I was an only child, but could relate to her in so many ways. Possibly because of the great loneliness she felt. Another great story Mid.
Aching powerful story of showing the effects broken families can have on the lives of children. Really wanted to see the child appreciated for herself.
Mid, you really captured the loneliness and confusion of this middle child. Very sad and poignant.
Her feet in the dust was the clincher for me. SO perfectly childlike.

Your words do tell a sad story but so well done, that I enjoyed the writingfor than being sad. Does that make sense?

I appreciate your candor in this and I feel that you have received healing.

Wow, can I relate to these frozen moments in time as a child, processing through all the muck in my life. I'm just glad you had the courage and strength to write about it. Well done.
WOW! This is so rich and descriptive! I really loved the visual of the merry-go-round and the dust settling over her toes. Hearing about each of the different brothers and sisters made my heart ache for this precious girl. The flicker of maturity at the end, hints that something great will come from this, I liked this, great job! ^_^
The innocence expressed by this child is so real - something nearly impossible to do unless the author is not only a master at their craft, but blessed with insights that opens new worlds to her readers while giving an authentic, empathetic voice to her story as well.
Your descriptions were wonderful. I felt like I was right there on the merry-go-round. Fantastic writing!