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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Sibling(s) (05/01/08)

TITLE: Hopeless Reflections
By Debbie Wistrom
05/06/08


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I take her to the train station.
Is she ready? No. Can I stop her? No.

She is so young, my little sister.
and pretty
and trusting.

I am sure she will be dead or worse by the time she makes it.

She is so strong willed, my little sister
and young
and pretty
and trusting.

I go with her to the next stop, scared, shaking and crying, big sister.

I give her, my little sister,
more money
more instructions
more warnings.

I tell her to pay attention to everything.

She is so sure of herself, my little sister
and young
and pretty
and trusting.

I tell her to trust no one, no one.

She is so nave, my little sister.
and young
and pretty
and trusting.

I say goodbye one last time.
I was her once.
I was so sure of what I wanted
and young
and pretty
and trusting
and strong willed
and so sure of myself
and nave.

She wont be she when I see her next, my little sister.

She will be so hardened, my little sister
and aged
and haggard
and bitter.


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This article has been read 536 times
Member Comments
Member Date
LauraLee Shaw05/10/08
What an interesting take on the topic. And sad. "Hopeless" as you put it in the title. Well-written and tells a hard story very effectively.
Betty Castleberry05/12/08
You've captured the feelings of despair very well. I like the repetition used throughout.
Jan Ackerson 05/12/08
So few words, but so rich in depth of emotion. Gorgeous and heartbreaking.
Sharlyn Guthrie05/12/08
Heartbreaking, yet the poetry is beautiful. Love the repetition you used. It added an element of rhythm to your free verse.
Sara Harricharan 05/14/08
So sad! The 'hopeless' really sort of sums it up, you captured thoughts and feelings and sort of jumbled them up and it made perfect sense. What a change in the beginning to the end. Great job! ^_^
Joanne Sher 05/14/08
Very, VERY vivid images. I was truly drawn in. Nicely done.
Joy Faire Stewart05/14/08
I found this sad but the words are so rich with emotion that I loved it. Beautiful!
Loren T. Lowery05/14/08
At times it seems, our only legacy to those we love is that we once tried to tell them so; and they, in turn do the same with their loved ones. A very emotional, evocoting piece.
Dee Yoder 05/15/08
Wow, so hauntingly beautiful. The repeated phrases really pack a punch; especially at the end.