The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 680 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
05/10/08
What an interesting take on the topic. And sad. "Hopeless" as you put it in the title. Well-written and tells a hard story very effectively.
You've captured the feelings of despair very well. I like the repetition used throughout.
05/12/08
So few words, but so rich in depth of emotion. Gorgeous and heartbreaking.
Heartbreaking, yet the poetry is beautiful. Love the repetition you used. It added an element of rhythm to your free verse.
05/14/08
So sad! The 'hopeless' really sort of sums it up, you captured thoughts and feelings and sort of jumbled them up and it made perfect sense. What a change in the beginning to the end. Great job! ^_^
05/14/08
Very, VERY vivid images. I was truly drawn in. Nicely done.
I found this sad but the words are so rich with emotion that I loved it. Beautiful!
At times it seems, our only legacy to those we love is that we once tried to tell them so; and they, in turn do the same with their loved ones. A very emotional, evocoting piece.
05/15/08
Wow, so hauntingly beautiful. The repeated phrases really pack a punch; especially at the end.