The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
05/09/08
What a sad poem! I could easily visualize this poor woman, and could sense the narrator's pain over her lost sister.

I'm not sure that "horde" is the correct word, and a few tweaks of the meter might help this to flow better.

I'd love to read more about this sister, even in story form...it's a tragic story.
05/10/08
Haunting. Incredible descriptions throughout. This one caught my eye:
The teeth that were like pearls
Straight and gleaming white
Now few and bearing rancid roots of black

05/10/08
Very, very creative - and shows the emotions from envy, to concern, to distress, to downfall, and finally to God and love for a hurting sister. Very nice!