The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/09/08
Oh, heartbreaking, and so poignantly written.
05/11/08
Oh wow! Your characterization and conflict are amazingly vivid and real. I sympathized with both characters - wonderfully done.
I loved the dialogue between the sisters. The short responses served to illustrate the tension between them. And the conflict is delicately dealt with. Good work.
05/12/08
The characters and dialogue are spot-on. I loved this piece!
05/12/08
O, this is very sad. Very good writing. I felt like I was eavesdropping on these two sisters.
Laury
05/12/08
I've never thought of this kind of sibling rivalry before; so sad. The dialogue in this is right on target. I agree with Laury; I felt like I was eavesdropping on this scene, it was so real.
Very well done. You captured the feelings of both sisters excellently with your dialogue.
Generally I hate endings that leave me hanging, but this is excellent!
05/12/08
Oh, my heart ached for both sisters! You captured them and their conflict and their love in spite of the conflict. Excellent job! Huggles!
05/13/08
Ah, such a sweet story that tugs at the heart. I can understand both sisters' logic. Can you write more and give us a happy ending, because I love both sisters.
Great interaction between the sisters. Nice job with the topic, too. Well done.
Feathered with goosebumps and friz-fest. What a wordsmith you are.

Your words spiced up the childhood drama.

Great read.
Heart-rending. The irony is palpable
The dialogue is so vivid and rich, you draw your reader into the scene. Excellent job writing on topic.
Great job with the subject, the dialogue and the ever so real action between the two sisters. I really liked the way you ended with the irony because it gives the reader something to think about long after the article has been read.
You brought me into their conflict and pain with your excellent descriptions and dialogue. I have a lump in my throat.
You can't just leave it there! You have to write a sequel! I don't want it to end like this. This entry was so well written; the dialogue, the descriptions, the emotions, all top class. Superb!
Your dialogue is very well done. Great job of showing, rather than telling the story.
05/14/08
wow! Interesting and good characterization!
I had foster sister and was jealous of all the attention she got. I can really relate to this.
Well done
05/15/08
Great examination of an adopted child trying to fit into a family, and possible problems that can result. You did a great job as showing the insecurity adopted children much experience often.
05/16/08
Sara, I found yours and was intrigued at your talent and ability to snapshot a single conversation so well as to let us in on who they are, and how they both feel. I raised 3 girls and had one sister. This is as real as it gets to life with girls. Great writing as usual. You bless me.