The Official Writing Challenge
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This was a funny and well- written story. I think the beginning was very strong and descriptive. I laughed at "sweet" little Anna's deceit. And it was really ironic that their dad was reading the Bible story of Joseph and his brothers, essentially teaching about forgiveness. And yet they didn't appear to have learned from it, like many children don't. So that was very realistic. But I have some faith in Sam, due to the guilt he felt for ransacking Belinda, the doll.
05/08/08
This is really very funny! I sure didn't expect Belinda's head to show up on the robot! Excellent dialog, too.
05/09/08
Excellent illustration of the nature of remorse and forgiveness. Well done!
05/09/08
I really, really like this. Well written, very true to life and creative.
05/09/08
Your opening paragraphs are great… you really got my interest. This story is very clever and an excellent illustration of the verse you quote. Nice work, you've got a lot of good "stuff" in this -- I like your writing.
Are you sure this wasn't written about my family? It's so cute and creative! Very nice job! Kudos!
This is so, so true to life. Getting even by chopping off the doll's head. The story was so well relayed and the voice just perfect. Great job Christine, I loved it.
05/14/08
This totally rang true...loved it.
05/14/08
This is my kind of story! I absolutely love it! Love the POV, love the storyline, love the inner dialogue and battle, love the slight humorous nature of the situation, and the ending is just perfect. I'd love to see this one published in a family magazine. Well done!
05/14/08
Heehee! This reminds me of an old folk tale my older bro used to read me. This was sooo funny! I liked Anna and I especially liked how she substituted Belinda's head for the robot...and they even won a prize! ^_^
05/14/08
This is very cute! I love the verse at the end--just perfect for this story.

My only "inky" comment is with the use of present tense. It just doesn't work for me with a very young person's voice, as it's a sophisticated, very literary device. A straightforward narrative like this, told by a child--seems like past tense would work better.

BUT...that's just my opinion. If you love the present tense here--go for it! It sure doesn't take away from the utter charm of the story.
You are an excellent writer, indeed. You kept me reading the entire story.
05/14/08
Clever and fun - great descriptions, especially of the poor boy's guilt haunting him. Good stuff!
I should have seen it coming when you said "she said sweetly."

Engaging and fun, I loved the dialog and the thoughts of your MC.
Well I didn't see the surprise ending coming. I kept trying to second guess where that head was, but never expected it on the robot. Good job.
Well I didn't see the surprise ending coming. I kept trying to second guess where that head was, but never expected it on the robot. Good job.
05/15/08
Oh, the wicked things siblings can do to each other! My own doll had her share of run-ins with my younger brother. Good story and I like the surprise ending!
This was just soooo twisted. I love, love, loved the Belinda-Bot ending. Too cute, and very well done.