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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Mother (as in maternal parent) (04/24/08)

TITLE: Life University's Mother's Degree
By Sandra Fischer
04/30/08


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Life University
Mother’s Degree Courses

Motherhood 101 – Preparing for Baby

Some highlights of this class:
Sleep Deprivation – Students learn how to attune themselves to baby’s cries at any hour of day or night and still manage to function.

Rock ‘N Stroll – Students master techniques of rocking, strolling, and bouncing to quiet fussy babies.

Public Breastfeeding – Students learn the art of the cover, strip, disguise and attach in one swift movement.

One-Armed Cooking – Students master ambidextrous techniques in the kitchen while holding baby; this skill can be used elsewhere in the house and beyond.

Toning-Up – Strengthening exercises for arms, back and legs. Great to prepare for carrying the diaper bag (20 lbs.), car carrier with baby (30 lbs. or more depending on baby size), purse (10-15 lbs., depending on whether or not you still carry make-up; also good for doing squats to pick up dropped pacifiers, etc., while holding baby.

Motherhood 102 – Preparing for Labor & Delivery

Some highlights of this class:
The Art of Forgiveness (amidst pain) – Students learn how not to begrudge Eve for her lapse in judgment in predicating this process and not to hold the Lamaze instructor accountable if the breathing doesn’t work.

Timing the Labor Pains – Students learn how to ask for the epidural without screaming.

Emotional Response – Students learn to allow tears, smiles and amazement to follow delivery without inhibition or apology.

Motherhood 201 – Handling Terrible Two’s (sometimes Three’s, maybe Four’s)

Some highlights of this class:
Detachment Exercise – Students learn to remain calm when challenged by tantrums and defiance.

Communication Technique – Students practice making statements in even-pitched, moderately toned voices.

Will Power Strengthening - Practicum using tug of war to learn how to hold your
ground.

Motherhood 301 – Dealing with the Teen Years

Some highlights of this class:
An in-depth review of Motherhood 201, plus Txt msgng 4 dumez.

Motherhood 501 – The Adult Child (Graduate level)

Some highlights of this class:
Tongue Control– Practicum in avoiding the trigger line responses “I told you so” or “it’s payback time”.

Role Adjustment – Students learn to relate to the adult and release the child.

Thesis Writing – Must expound on the challenges and joys of motherhood by writing a letter of appreciation to your own mother.

The Mother’s Degree is awarded to women who take the course God has designed and while continuing education is ongoing, most women go on to earn a Grandmother’s Degree.


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This article has been read 380 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Joy Faire Stewart05/01/08
Oh, this is hilarious and sooo true! Unique writing on topic and great title. Excellent job!
LauraLee Shaw05/02/08
Such a creative and clever approach to the topic. I especially liked the public breastfeeding one. That was quite an ordeal for me personally...(I'm very clumsy and very modest, so often I was choosing between dropping my blouse and dropping my baby.) ;)

Many will appreciate this entertaining read. Well done.
Chely Roach05/03/08
I was so amused and entertained throughout this piece, but the line about coping with teens, "An in-depth review of Motherhood 201, plus Txt msgng 4 dumez." THAT made me laugh out loud. Kudos!