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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Mother (as in maternal parent) (04/24/08)

TITLE: The Assumption
By william price
04/30/08


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Her long fruitful life was drawing to a close. The elderly woman’s breathing was shallow and slow. Though death seemed as close as a darkened corner of the room she rested in, the morning sun shined on her smiling face from an opened window.

A few women stood near the frail body of their friend. They took turns speaking.

“Look at the smile on her face. She’s hoping he is going to come.”

“But, when? I mean, it’s his mother. You’d think he would have been here by now.”

“Maybe he doesn’t know?”

“Trust me, he knows.”

“Yes, I guess he would know. But, why isn’t he here? She was always there for him.”

“That’s true; the good times and the bad.”

“Even the real bad.”

“Yes, I shudder just remembering all that she has been through.”

The women’s conversation was interrupted by a little laugh from the bed behind them. When they turned they could see their friend whispering.

“Poor, girl, she’s delusional.”

“Should we pull the window closed? The light is right in her eyes.”

“No, she always loved the sun in her face; especially in the morning.”

“I really wish he would get here. It’s not like he can’t make arrangements.”

“Be careful what you say.”

“Why?”

“She might hear you. You know, she never let anyone say anything about her son.”

“You are so right, but look at her. She seems in another world. It’s like she’s only holding on until he gets here.”

“Look, she’s crying. Quick, get something to wipe her eyes.”

“Hmmm, the sunlight seems to be drying her face?”

“It is a pretty warm day.”

“Yes, yes it is. See now, she is smiling again.”

For the rest of the day, the dying woman’s friends talked and wondered why her son was not there.

“Have you seen the tomb they have prepared for Mary?”

“Yes, I have. It is beautiful.”

“I cannot believe her son has not been here.”

“Yes, I am very surprised and a little disappointed.”

“Look, her breathing has almost stopped.”

“Wait a minute.”

“What?”

“What?”

“Isn’t it almost nightfall?”

“Yes.”

“What do you mean?”

“Look.”

“Oh …”

“… My …”

“… God.”

“The morning sun is still shining through the eastward window.”

“It’s …”

“… Him.”

“He’s been by her side all day.”

The women fell to their knees and had to cover their eyes because the light coming through the window was getting so bright. Slowly, as Mary breathed her last, the sunlight began to retreat from the room until it became dark.

The women called out to friends of the son who had been waiting to gather Mary’s body when she passed. They entered quickly with lit candles.

Mary’s friends could not believe what they did not see.

“Look …”

“… She is …”

“… Gone?”

One of the men asked, “Where did she go?”

“Jesus took her. He was with her all day. Didn’t you notice the sun shinning all day from the east?”

“No, no we didn’t. It has been cloudy since daybreak. “You mean, the Son of God was in your presence and you did not notice?”

“No …”

“… We just …”

“… Assumed.”


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This article has been read 701 times
Member Comments
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Sara Harricharan 05/01/08
Ohhhh! LOVE This one! A favorite of mine this week! I wasn't sure who was who and what was happening, I thought this was a lady in a nursing home, but the twist-that was wonderful! I loved it, especially the ending. Great job! ^_^
Emily Gibson05/03/08
Great word play here-very well done!
Joy Faire Stewart05/04/08
The ending took me by surprise and I loved it. Excellent writing!
Verna Cole Mitchell 05/04/08
You created a beautiful story from the belief of Mary's Assumption.
Betty Castleberry05/05/08
You had me fooled until I read the name Mary. This is masterfully written; a great read.
LauraLee Shaw05/05/08
Wow, this takes the cake for surprise endings this week. Ouch. And wowzer. Just brilliant.
Chely Roach05/06/08
Wow. Did I say wow? I'll say it again...Wow!
Peter Stone05/06/08
Oh my, you brought tears to my eyes with this awesome article. And such depth. Jesus, the Star of the Morning, the first start to rise in the east, was there all day. Lovely details such as 'sunlight drying her face' and the fact that she was clearly responding to Him the whole day.
Jan Ackerson 05/06/08
Beautiful, Sir William! Love the double meaning in your title, and the gorgeous imagery.
Joanne Sher 05/06/08
Masterfully done, with excellent dialog, as usual. An absolutely wonderful entry, Bill.
Joshua Janoski05/06/08
You fooled me for sure with this. I smiled after I finished reading it. Very smart writing.

Thank you for sharing this story. I was blessed by it.
Debbie Wistrom05/07/08
What a wonderful storyteller you are. This was well done and thoughtful.
Joanney Uthe05/07/08
Beautiful description of a wonderful passing. Isn't it just so human to (unknowingly?) want to block out the Light of Christ. Great take on the topic.
Loren T. Lowery05/07/08
A beautiful entry. I loved the whole thing, the imagery and the message were supberb.
Beth LaBuff 05/07/08
Awesome writing! I love the whole concept behind this.
Lauryn Abbott05/07/08
This was beautiful! Thank you for such a lovely story. I loved the surprising twist at the end.
Jeffrey Snell05/07/08
Intriguing setting and dialogue. I was confused for a moment by her bed being behind them; I'd pictured them facing her, since they described her, etc. Beautiful message about us not always being aware of Jesus' presence or what He's doing!