Dorothy looked dazedly at her five year old and shook her head in despair. Was she really such a hopeless mother? She just couldn’t get anything right.
“MUM! Don’t want vej-ables. I want Maccas!”
“MUM! Don’t wanna go on the swings at the park. It’s scary!”
“MUM! I wanna swing! How come all my friends at school got swings and I don’t?”
Harry patted his wilting wife on the shoulder comfortingly.
“Don’t worry, Doss-love. She’ll grow up in no time, and things’ll be a lot easier. You’ll see.”
“MUM! Why do I hafta go to church? It’s boring.”
“MUM! I’ll be late for Youth if you don’t hurry up!”
“MUM! You just, like, don’t iron a crease into jeans. How uncool is that?”
“MUM! You didn’t iron my dress right. Don’t you know I’m going to a formal?”
“MUM! I’m way overweight. Why do you, like, feed us so much junk food? It’s unhealthy!”
“MUM! Get off my case! I’ll get onto my homework when I’ve finished this level of the game.”
“MUM! Why didn’t you remind me that the Maths assignment’s due tomorrow. I’m so stressed out!”
Harry noticed that Dorothy was developing some premature grey hairs.
“Darl, how come you’re losing your looks already? What you need is a full time job -- then you’ll know what real worry is.”
One look at his wife’s face, and he stepped back a few paces, bewildered.
“What’d I do? What’d I say?”
Finally, the knight in shining armor arrived on the scene, and rode off into the sunset with the girl on his white … Mustang convertible. Dorothy felt like she was in heaven, only dealing with two troublesome teenagers. In time, both of them were married off too.
She fell into her armchair to enjoy a quiet afternoon nap. Then the phone rang.
“MUM! I can’t get Billy to eat his veggies. He only wants Maccas! He’s the most difficult kid ever. Why didn’t you warn me that parenting was such a headache?”
Copright © 2008
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