The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
05/01/08
Wow, quite a lot to swallow in this piece. So much emotion and description make it very vivid for me. I like the note of hope at the end though, it is perfect. ^_^
Your description of weather is welded together perfectly with the MC's emotions. I like the touch of encouragement at the end.
05/07/08
This was incredibly real, emotional, and relateable to me. Reading it touched a deep core in me and that means you got me! Thanks... I love that about writing..
05/07/08
Oh, well done! I love the pacing of this, slowing nearly to a stop at the end, which gives emphasis to the repetition of "Jesus" and "she is not here." Outstanding!
I wanted to sit with her in the rain and comfort her. Your descriptions are incredible. Your talent shines in this piece.
05/07/08
Amazingly vivid - and what a contrast. Beautifully, hauntingly written.