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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Mother (as in maternal parent) (04/24/08)

TITLE: Hope Renewed
By Ruth Neilson


Valerie shifted once and grimaced as she heard the stiff sheets move. She wasn’t supposed to be here. She had been rescued from the pit but the future never seemed so bleak. The noise and chaos from the prison had been part of her life for so long but now, there was nothing but silence.

The silence was stifling.

The last thing that Valerie could remember was whimpering. She had been left in a room filled other with whimpering women—her own weary voice added to the cacophony. Her baby was gone. The guards had stolen it from her. A ‘medical procedure’ preformed late in her pregnancy had ripped her child away from her arms.

That had been days before the camp’s gates were forced open and the liberators announcing that the government had fallen. They were free.

Everyone had been shipped off to medical facilities and separated from each other.

Her baby was gone.

Valerie closed her eyes against the bright florescent lights. She didn’t want to be here—she just wanted to die.

“Do you think she knows?” A nurse whispered to another as they passed her room.
“I doubt it, other wise she’d be demanding to see...” They were down the hall and Valerie couldn’t hear the rest of the women’s conversation.

Valerie blinked once. Nothing in her world made sense anymore. The doctors spoke in riddles, needing her DNA for some sort of test, but no one would tell her why.

There was a tap on the door and Valerie looked up and nodded at her smiling doctor. “Good afternoon, Valerie. How are we feeling today?” He quizzed, moving closer, and picking up her chart.

“I’m alive when I wasn’t supposed to survive,” she muttered, gazing out the window. “They stole my baby from me…and I was supposed to die.”

There. She had voiced it. It didn’t help her spirit, though.

The doctor started to laugh.

Valerie blinked in confusion as her gaze shifted towards the doctor. He raised his hand and motioned for two nurses that had been hovering at the door to enter. With smiles, the women brought in two small bundles wrapped in blankets as the doctor began to explain.

“Your captors were cruel to do this to you, Valerie, convincing you that they killed your children when they were just planning on putting them into another family.”

Valerie could feel tears pricking at the back of her eyes. Children. I have two babies...

The doctor smiled reassuringly. Valerie quickly wiped the tears with her IV free hand before propping herself up into a sitting position.

“I want...” Valerie paused and bit her lip. “I mean, can I see them?”

The doctor nodded once. “They are your children after all.”

The first nurse lowered a little girl into Valerie’s arm. Valerie stared down at her little girl and then glanced over at the boy before swallowing. “Have they been named?” She quietly asked.

The nurse shook her head once and Valerie fought the tears for another long moment. “Oh God, thank you,” she whispered. “Thank you for restoring my hope once again.”

Valerie looked up at the doctor and smiled for the first time since being rescued. “Then meet Nadia and Nehemiah.”

Something in her spirit shifted and Valerie gazed down at her sleeping children. Maybe there was hope for the future of Christians. Was it really possible that the struggle for freedom was finally over? Valerie smiled and nodded once. Maybe it wasn’t completely over—but the future wasn’t so dim either.

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This article has been read 647 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Sara Harricharan 05/02/08
Ooohhh. So sad at the start, but so happy at the end. You have a great voice here, and the atmosphere is simply amazing! I'm so glad that she got her babies back and I loved the names too. Excellent job! ^_^
Verna Cole Mitchell 05/04/08
You did an excellent job of showing the desperation of a mother who's had her baby taken away to the joy of being reunitied with her twins.
Melanie Kerr 05/06/08
An interesting story. I think I needed a bit more information to really grasp what was going on. I assumed it was set in the future, and in an anti-Chrisitian world. One or two typos noticed.
Joshua Janoski05/07/08
What a joyous ending. I was so happy to see this mother get reunited with her babies.

I see this as being a story that could be expanded upon. The 750 word limit sometimes makes it hard to completely flesh out a story, and I would have liked to know more about this woman and the events leading up to this story.

Thank you for sharing. It was a pleasure to read.