The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
05/02/08
A very sad--and unfortunately sometimes true--glimpse inside the lives of children of alcoholics. Well written and thought provoking.
05/02/08
This was a sad tale but one that is too common in many homes. I felt for these precious children and their mother too. This will get inside the head of many and probe at their heart too. Well done.
05/03/08
Oh my! Oh! Yes, certainly thought-provoking this is. Wow! How sad and yet so many kids live like this. Great job. I love how you wove in her writing assignment. Great, great writing!
Laury
05/03/08
Excellent contrast between the essay and reality. Very, VERY well-done! I wasn't expecting that last line, despite what was going on. Great job.
05/03/08
This is heart-breaking. The contrast between reality and her essay is very good. I'm glad for the little ones that they had a big sister (perhaps the only loving from a "mother-type" they'll ever know. Your title is excellent for this. Your writing is very good.
This was very sad and like the others said. I did catch one spelling error, otherwise, excellent piece.
The format of this piece is very creative. I like the contrast, so sad, especially the last line. It's tragic what some children must endure. Your writing on this subject is masterful.
This tugs at my heartstrings. I feel for the mother as well as the children. Sissy can't be very old to be shouldering such a burden, but the younger ones are blessed to have her.
05/07/08
Oh, so sad, but very well-written! I could "see" the whole incident taking place in my mind, and my heart went out to the children. At first I thought the MC was in some kind of denial while writing her essay, but the last line showed me otherwise.
05/07/08
The contrast between the two mothers is so effective! It really pulls the reader along and keeps the tension between the real life experience and the written dream taut and sad. Well written and creative.
05/07/08
Such a sad story, I felt so sorry for the poor kids. And the background of the MC writing an essay about what mothers should be like, made such a stark contrast to what these kids' mother was really like.
This was crative and touching and since you requested red ink, I will say that I was confused by the first paragraph and again with the 1st sentence of the next. The rest read smoothly till back to mom and the grocery bags, not sure what she is looking for before the beer.
Love the voice of your MD, thought she was the mother in thi beginning.
A sad story well told. You didn't pull any punches with this one. I really liked Sissy's heart, it shown thru as a great contrast to the mother. I know in these circmustances there is not always an easy way out, something hopeful. I was looking for that, but you gave the reader a hard dose of reality.
You did an excellent job of portraying the difficult lives that many children have with mothers whose maternal instincts are obliterated with alcohol.
I like the way your MC comforted the younger children. This is thought-provoking and very well done. Both thumbs up.
I have known several families with alcoholic mothers, and it is sad for both the children and the mom. Everyone ends up suffering.

I really liked your integration of the essay into the story. I wish it could have had a happy ending, but life doesn't hand those out to everyone. I can just imagine that these children and the mother eventually found Christ and he changed their lives for the better. :)