The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
05/02/08
I have to chuckle at this! I love the tone and voice of this piece, it pulled me into the story and I was happy to follow it all the way through to the end. The little ending made me smile, I liked how you showed the changes, etc. Very nicely done! ^_^
I loved the descriptions. At least I think I did. Some were so realistic they brought back my own childbirth memories.
This line made me chuckle:
"She prays every hour that God will move up her due date, swearing she’ll never do that again with her husband."
Thanks for this entertaining read.
05/03/08
So well written that it felt like reliving those two 9-month cycles preceeding the arrival of my two little ones. Your conclusion reminds me of my wife going through a difficult 19 hour labor, which seemed so bad I would have thought she would never do it again, but as soon as our daughter was placed in her arms, said, "I want another one..."
You've presented delightfully a familiar journey for mommies, and you conclude it perfectly.
05/04/08
Clever and fun - and realistic. That last line is PERFECT.
I had a very lovely time reading this. It took me back to the time I was pregnant with my daughter.
I particularly cherish the last line AND BABY TURNS TWO.
My daughter turned two in February and all is not peaceful in our home anymore. I know psychologists call it THE TERRIBLE TWOS but my husband and I call it THE TERRIFIC TWOS.
05/05/08
Very creative way of writing this. I read every word not wanting to miss anything. Excellent. You should submit this to a pregnancy or new mother magazine.
05/05/08
A very entertaining piece, and the last line made me laugh out loud. LOL...2!
05/05/08
How creative is this! What memories this brings back...could remember all to well. Now my little firstborn is my giant twelve-year-old. Well done!
05/06/08
Personally, I think it's impossible for this to be any better than it is. Great work.