Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Win A Publishing Package HERE            

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Uncles/Aunts (04/17/08)

TITLE: Anvil of Anger
By Debbie Wistrom
04/23/08


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

“AARRGH, am I the only person in that building with a brain?” Sadie fumed as she flung her purse across the front seat of the car. “These people are unbelievable! What was that?”

The twenty-minute ride home at eighty miles an hour only added to the anger that pressed on her like an elephant sitting on an anvil.

A little G & T is the answer. It’s getting close to summer, ahhh, how refresssshing. All of this will go away with a couple toddies. You know you like the good ssstuff, you owe it to yourself. Those people don’t deserve your hard work and dedication.

“Sshhh, you no good burning lump of coal, quiet yourself, I’ll stay on the highway and won’t even be near the liquor store. You lose.” The air was blue as she continued to berate her boss and co-workers.

Tinkle, tinkle, look how the glasssss sweats, it’ll cool you down. You already have a lime you think you bought it for fajitas, but you know why you really bought it. It's home alone waiting for a nice little gin bath.

Knowing the edge was teetering ever so near, Sadie pulled over to find her phone. Fishing through the fast food containers on the floor, she found the spilled contents from her award winning purse throw, now mixed with the trash on the floor of the car. Sweat crept into her eyes. “This isn’t good. Where’s that stupid phone?”

Look, a nice crisp twenty dollar bill, just what you need. Everyone is at Michelle’s for that ssssstupid Bible sssstudy that they didn’t even invite you to. You could be good and drunk and all bundled up in bed by the time your precious roommates get home. They’ll never know.

She snatched up the phone and used speed dial. “Oh yes, yes, it’s me Uncle Joe, um, just needed to check in.” Sadie pulled the car back onto the road. “I can’t believe it. Yesterday we get an employee survey to fill out and one of the questions wants to know if we think management could fight its way out of a wet paper bag or were they good enough to teach Bill Gates a thing or two. They wanted the truth from our experiences. It is supposed to be confidential, yeah right. I probably won’t have a job on Thursday.”

“Sadie, you didn’t-”

“Oh yes I did! They wanted the truth so they got it. One the scale of one to ten, I circled the two. They should be lucky they didn’t ask me to the meeting to give my opinion in person. Then today I get the “how long have you worked here, you know we can’t change it….what do you want me to do?” speech. You wouldn’t believe the lack of management at that place. I should shoot Michelle for getting me that interview. Why do I even complain anymore?”

“Sadie, you know this isn’t going to go well. The best thing to happen now is that they gloss over the negative answers and go on as usual.”

“No, Uncle Joe, the best thing is for me to-” Shut up you ssstupid girl.

“Sadie, I’ve got an extra steak in the fridge, I’ll throw it on with mine, swing by and join me. I even have salllaaaad.”

“Sounds good but not tonight. Whoa, gotta pay attention and watch the road, traffic is bad, bye”

“Sadie…”

“That was close, now for that little stop.” Digging for a couple more bucks for the tonic, she found an email from work. “Argh, when will it end?”

Clink clink, pshhhhh, tinkle tinkle. Knock, knock, knock. “Now what? I haven’t turned on any lights. They’ll go away in a minute.”

The sound of a key in the lock and the squeak of the hinge made Sadie jump and spill her cocktail. “Oh da-!”

“Sadie? Sadie, get out your steak sauce, I bring a feast.” Just as if it was potluck night, Uncle Joe started setting the table.

“How did you get a key?”

“Silly, I took care of Rascal and Ju-Ju-Butt for you at Christmas, remember? Get me some ranch dressing. Do you have any croutons?”

Ssssstupid uncles, they always messss things up. I don’t remember God giving Adam any brotherssss!


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 577 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Sara Harricharan 04/24/08
Hmmmm! This is very interesting, several different things going on here, with the angles and the POV. I was a tad confused with the italics until I reached the end and realized what they were. I'm glad that she didn't 'give in'. Good for her. ^_^
terri tiffany04/25/08
Fast paced. Loved the sweat line. Not sure about the ending and getting it, but I see that you are VERY good at writing and description and great phrases!
Jan Ackerson 04/28/08
Great title--I wasn't at all confused by the switching POVs and I enjoyed the back-and-forth aspect.

My only issue is with being on topic: even though there's an uncle in it, "uncle-ness" doesn't seem to be a necessary characteristic. It could have been almost any character playing that role.

So glad that God sends "uncles" into our lives, though!
Lynda Schultz 04/29/08
Saved by the uncle. I got a little confused too with the switches, but with the availability of a few more words and some adjustments, this could carry a lot of impact.
Willena Flewelling 04/29/08
I can sure relate to this one... and God always does provide an "out" if we are willing to see it. Your MC almost didn't, but her uncle knows her well.
Beth LaBuff 04/29/08
You have good descriptive phrases "the air was blue" and "elephant sitting on an anvil" (I'll have to remember that last one.) :) I think the uncle cared enough to try to "save the day". Poor Sadie (great work with her character).
Dee Yoder 04/30/08
I like that you portrayed the enemy of our souls with a sibilant hissing sound...that let me know right away who was talking in her ear. This really gives an image of the tempter and how we have to be ready to call on Jesus to keep a grip on our decisions. The Uncle who came to the MCs rescue is a nice touch.
Joanne Sher 04/30/08
Very good descriptions. This was a VERY good read!
Patty Wysong04/30/08
Good job showing the struggle between good and evil. That was a very wise uncle--just in time, too. :)