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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Uncles/Aunts (04/17/08)

TITLE: Tante Rosi: Meddler Extraordinaire
By Dee Yoder
04/22/08


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”Oh, I’m so tired,” I groan.

I flop onto a chair in my tiny apartment, kick off my sandals, and sigh. I notice the light on the answering machine blinking, so I hit the button.

“Charlice? Honey, thiz iz Tante Rosi. I’m comingue over in aboud twenty minutes. I haf zom new thangs for your apartment. Be there zoon.”

“Oh, Lord, please,” I pray, ”not Tante Rosi today.”

If there’s a woman who’s more intrusive and obnoxious than my Tante Rosi, I’ve yet to meet her. I check the time on the answering machine and see that I have five minutes to get out of here if I want to avoid her. I slip my feet back in my sandals and head to the mall.

The air-conditioned building cools my nerves and for a few minutes, I feel guilty about ditching out on Tante Rosi. I know she means well, but there’s just no way to curb her enthusiastic meddling.

Since I’ve moved close to her for my new job, she hasn’t missed a day coming to my apartment. She’s brought me dinner, gotten my mail, and watered my plants. She even went along when I did my laundry, tsking the whole time over the “dirty und filsy” conditions of the Laundromat. She was right, but c’mon…it was a Laundromat!

One day, my old beat-up car had broken down and I’d had no way to get groceries. I’d called Tante Rosi to see if she could drive me. It just so happened that Tante Rosi’s car was in the shop, too, but did that stop her? No. She’d had a friend drop her off at my door, her arms laden with the makings for “spaetzle und Weiner schnitzel”.

As we’d cleaned up after dinner, I’d joked that I’d have to eat schnitzel for breakfast since my cupboards and fridge were bare. Big mistake.

She’d happily asserted that we could walk to the grocery to get “zome zings”…it would be “fun for der bode of uz” and “gut for uz, too.” Never mind that the grocery was five miles away, and never mind that we’d have to walk along a 4-lane highway…oh no…it would be “fun for der bode of uz”. I must have been out of my mind to go along with her zany idea.

Everything had gone surprisingly well until the trip back. Tante Rosi had suddenly decided that we were walking on the wrong “site of der roat”, and she wanted to cross four lanes of zooming traffic to the “udder site”.

“C’mon, now. Vee hurry und git ober dere!” and she’d yanked me out into traffic behind her.

“Tante Rosi!” I’d screamed, “We’ll get killed!”

She’d calmly replied, “Nonzenze…dey stop, dey stop.”

And stop they did. Four lanes of rush-hour traffic had come to a screeching halt while two crazy women strolled across the highway, clutching brown paper grocery bags in their arms. I’d wanted to apologize to each and every driver, but shame had kept my chin tucked to my chest as I’d meekly followed behind Tante Rosi like a duckling following her mama. The stunned drivers had been so dazed by our stupidity, they hadn’t even honked their horns.

I shake my head at the memory as I stroll past the storefronts. I spend two more hours at the mall before I start home, but as I approach my apartment, I catch a glimpse of light coming from under the door. No. She couldn’t still be… here? I swing open the door and there stands Tante Rosi, her arms wide and her face lit with pleasure.

“Charlice! Velcome home! I decidet dat dis place needs zomezing. Zo! How do you like it?”

I look at what used to be my living room…nothing is the same! Tante Rosi has changed out my furniture…all my knick-knacks…all my…everything!

She hugs me tightly and laughs with glee at her surprise. My blood pressure starts to climb.

“Now, I haf made a vonderful dinner…sauerbraten mit noodles. You relax und I vill put it on de table.” She hands me a glass of cold lemonade and pushes me down into the softest chair I’ve ever sat in. The smells from the kitchen make my mouth water and my stomach growl. I let my pounding head roll back against the fluffy chair.

Tomorrow, I will have to straighten Tante Rosi out about her role in my life, but tonight…well…I guess dinner can be “fun for der bode of uz”.


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This article has been read 1078 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Joanne Sher 04/24/08
Oh, delightful! Excellent use of the colloquialisms and accent. Enjoyed this - and a perfect title!
Lynda Schultz 04/24/08
I'll bet you don't do it — straighten the aunt out, that is. Very good.
Sally Hanan04/24/08
Lovely story, and you kept it funny to the last line. :)
Sharlyn Guthrie04/25/08
Cute title, that certainly didn't disappoint. The ending is perfect.
Laury Hubrich 04/26/08
Absolutely loved this. So much fun for a Saturday morning read!
Yvonne Blake 04/26/08
Ha..Ha..Ha.. I love the dialect! It's not easy to write. My mother is the one who would have walked across 4 lanes of traffic, expecting me to follow!
Loved this!
Patty Wysong04/26/08
Oh, this was delightful!! Absolutely wonderful! What an accent--and you captured it soooo well! Great job!
Beth LaBuff 04/26/08
Wow! I absolutely love the accent… the "comingue," "haf zom new thangs", "zoon" and I had to smile at the "udder site". What a woman… your ending is excellent. I love everything about this! This was so much fun for der all of uz. :)
Joshua Janoski04/27/08
I'm guessing that this was a fun story to write, and I know it was a fun story for me to read, so I guess it was "fun for der bode of uz." LOL.

I loved Tante Rosi. What a funny character. I really felt sorry for your MC though. It's hard dealing with people like that.

Thank you for the laughs! I really enjoyed this story.

Josh
Karen Wilber 04/27/08
Now this was good because I just couldn't wait to see what would happen next. What a great character Tante Rosi is. I wanted more than 750 words just to find out what else she would do. Also would have enjoyed some "sauerbraten mit noodles". Yum.
jodie banner04/28/08
I hope your MC realizes how blessed she is to have a Tante Rossi.
Jan Ackerson 04/28/08
Perfect! Tante Rosi's accent was exactly as I remember my grandmother's, and this just filled me with gentle nostalgia. It's so true that some people can be both endearing and infuriating at the same time. Loved it.
Betty Castleberry04/28/08
What a hoot! Loved the auntie, loved the accent, loved it all!
Loren T. Lowery04/28/08
As hard as it might be to camaflouge tante Rosi's love, it still shone brillantly, What a mighty force of a caring human being. How lucky indeed is your MC for having Rosi in her life.
Sheri Gordon04/28/08
Love the title. And the dialogue was perfect. Very fun read. Nice job with the topic.
Chely Roach04/28/08
AHHH! This was a fabulous read...I enjoyed every second of it. Loved it!
Willena Flewelling 04/29/08
What can I say but to echo everyone else's comments? I loved it!!
Debbie Wistrom04/29/08
Wonderful, especially loved this part
"like a duckling following her mama. The stunned drivers had been so dazed by our stupidity, they hadn’t even honked their horns."

Thanks for the fun!
Dianne Janak04/30/08
Dee, your pieces always amaze me. Was this fiction or real? You really made me feel the annoyance, and yet at teh same time the adventure of having an aunt like her. Meddler Exraordinaire.. YES! codependent issues for sure..
Peter Stone04/30/08
Tante Rosi adds new meaning to the word 'busybody' but fortunately the MC is patient. I loved the scene crossing the road. (though don't try this trick in Melbourne. The cars' won't stop for you...)
Marita Vandertogt04/30/08
You captured the accent so well. Great characterization and a fun read.
Sara Harricharan 04/30/08
ROFL! This was a hilarious trip! I loved the character of your Tante Rosi. Even though a meddler, I could see the caring behind her and I loved the accent and crossing the 4 lane highway. Yikes! What an adventure. Great job! ^_^
Angela M. Baker-Bridge05/01/08
Between laughs, I started to wonder what my nieces would write about me, as they already tell me I'm crazy. Hopefully they feel my love as your MC did. Great job.
Sara Harricharan 05/01/08
***Congrats, Dee!***
LauraLee Shaw05/01/08
Congratulations on this Rosi piece! Loved it!!!!
Mandy White05/01/08
Congratulations, Dee. This was delightful!
Beth LaBuff 05/01/08
Congrats Dee! I knew Tante Rosi was special. :)
Loren T. Lowery05/01/08
It is nice to share HC with such a talented writer! Congratulations, Dee. Loren
Sheri Gordon05/01/08
Congratulations on your EC, Dee. I'm so glad to see this piece place.
Verna Cole Mitchell 05/01/08
Woo Hoo for my dear friend. This is just delightful--well deserving EC! Congratulations!
Julia May05/01/08
Funny stuff - I used to work with a lady like her. Congratulations on the EC.
Sharlyn Guthrie05/01/08
Congratulations, Dee! I'm happy to see this on the EC list!