The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
04/24/08
Your angle is very creative in this. I love the way the sisters speculation as to why the estrangement took place mirrored their sisterly "issues" with the clothes borrowing. :) I smiled at the kidney vs. liver comment. Then another mirrored comment "sarcasm must run in our family." Then wow! -- your ending made me drop my jaw. Your writing is wonderful.
04/25/08
Loved the snide comments sown throughout, and the surprise ending was perfect. Great story!
04/26/08
Very good storytelling. The ending was kind of abrupt. I'm left with so many questions. Chapter 2 maybe?
Laury
I didn't see that ending coming. Nice way of surprising the reader.

I really liked the sarcastic humor in this. The liver joke made me laugh. You did an excellent job with the dialogue in this story.

Thank you for sharing this.
04/28/08
Loved the dialogue between the sisters—humorous and serious at the same time. As someone has already commented, the ending was a bit abrupt and leaves the reader hanging. There must be more coming, right?
04/28/08
Wow! you got me with the last line, I didn't suspect at all!
Good character description of Aunt Denise. Excellent writing.
04/28/08
Great story, love the twist at the end! The character of Denise was superbly written.

If you expand this (it's well worth it), you'll be able to give more differentiation to the daughters' characters.

One tiny bit of red ink--your first sentence has a misplaced modifier. As it is, it reads as if "her name" were "growing up", and your pronoun doesn't have an antecedent, leading to the confusion. One easy edit, and you're on your way!

This is a super strong entry that should do well.
Oh, my. I didn't see the end coming at all.
You painted a very vivid description of the aunt and her dwelling. Very nicely done.
04/28/08
I really like this story--didn't see the end coming. Would love to see this expanded--I want to know what comes next. Nice job with the topic.
04/28/08
LOVED the vivid descriptions and the sarcasm...and if this was non-fiction, I'm betting 'Mom' was pretty ticked at her girls!
Wow! I was NOT expecting that ending! Superbly written. Great visuals.
My eyebrows hit the ceiling with your ending. Very creative and well done. I enjoyed the pace.
what a story! Loved the banter and sarcasm between the sisters. Denise is well pictured. And that twist at the end answers many questions and asks even more. Great job, very creative!
04/30/08
Good story! I enjoyed reading this. The characters are well described and the ending was a surprise. Good twist.
04/30/08
At the end I heard "DUM dum DUMMMMM!!" playing in my head. :D I was wondering if the aunt was the mother when she asked which one was Lisa. Great dialog and descriptions. Super writing. Enjoyed reading this!