The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
04/24/08
Wow, this was powerful. I thought it would be a story about bitterness and hate, but it turned out to be of remorse. Beautifully written. Thank you.
04/24/08
Yes, you went where I didn't expect you to go. I wonder how many other soldiers fought with such compassion and lived with such regrets. Well done.
04/24/08
Your description of your talented Uncle Pete was very good. I like your use of certain words and phrases like "mantra," "cataract shrouds," "concrete throne," and "Miller scepter." After your descriptions I could almost hear Uncle Pete's words. You made me want to explore Aunt Betty's house. As all the veterans pass on, memories of WWII are fading… but we can't forget. Amazing story, equally amazing writing.
04/25/08
This was very, very good.
Laury
04/25/08
Several good lines throughout this piece. And you got me as well, I assumed one thing and found out something different about Uncle Pete. Wars like that really aren't for boys to understand, even for the ones who fought them. I enjoyed your story.
I agree with the other comments, I thought this as going to be a story of hatred, and instead it was one of regret.

I appreciate you sharing this bittersweet story. It was a good read.
05/01/08
So sad, but you hit the topic very well! I'm glad I didn't miss this piece. Your title with faded eyes helped me to see Uncle Pete in a different POV. Nicely done-Congrats on your EC, too! ^_^
Poignantly beautiful, I can see why this placed! Congratulations on this well-deserved win.
05/01/08
Congrats on your EC!!
05/01/08
Congratulations, Tim! This is a great story.
05/01/08
Congratulations on your EC. This is excellent. Very heart-felt writing. (I had a great-aunt with the same type of house. You described it perfectly.)
05/01/08
I'm stunned at how you told so much, by not describing exactly what happened, but by leading the reader to the doorstep of a conclusion about the reason for the Uncle's remorse. THIS is powerful writing.
05/01/08
Although I'm fascinated by military history, I find war to be the most abhorant human expression. You've done a very convincing job on showing how something that should not exist scars and damages the lives of young men who should be at home with their families and friends.
Your opening was an attention getter and I love surprises in stories and yours has it covered. Nice tribute to your uncle. I think when we are old our left overs are there for all to see.
05/01/08
This was so good Tim. You did a wonderful job of bringing together a small time of life and packed it with emotion and sensitivity.
05/01/08
Great Story and congrats!
Stunning! Congratulations on your well-deserved EC.
05/07/08
Great story telling. You deserved the 2nd you got. You reached back into the archives of your memory to bring out the "best" of your uncle, for all the world to see.....Congratulations on a story well-told....Helen
05/20/09
It seems you reverted to a 10 yr old mind to tell the story. I could tell there were remenbrances mingled in within the story, and wonder and sadness.
Memorable story about a memorable character.
Mona