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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Uncles/Aunts (04/17/08)

TITLE: Surprise!
By Beth Muehlhausen
04/18/08


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Surprise!

Aunt Nell eats food that’s sweet and fat,
Her hubby eats the lean.
Each day they chow down this and that,
And lick their plates quite clean.

My uncle Jed likes garden food,
Aunt Nell prefers her cake.
He’s quiet, shy, of genteel mood,
But Nell’s shouts make him quake.

“I need some eggs, and butter too,
Get busy there, old man!
Go raid the barn, do what you do,
Before fur hits the fan.”

With boorish booms Nell’s deep voice roars,
While Uncle Jed complies.
He serves his wife, whom he adores,
As to himself he dies.

One day my Uncle Jed says, “Nell,
I’ll make you one fine deal.
You go to town, let merchants sell,
And I’ll fix up your meal.”

You see, it’s birthday time for her,
And Jed wants to appease.
He knows just what she loves for sure,
Sweet food is sure to please.

The idea catches her off guard,
And yet she takes the bait.
Aunt Nell turns quickly, leaves the lard,
Admonishing her mate.

“You might as well make me a pie,
Some brownies too, and bread.
No meat or veggies will I try;
Remember what I said.”

She walks outside and starts the truck,
Envisioning a spree.
“I wonder if he’ll run amuck,
While I am fancy free?”

As Uncle Jed stands there, takes stock,
I happen to stop by.
“Hey Alice, honey, don’t just gawk;
Can you make chocolate pie?”

He tells me of his plan and yet,
He needs help and advice.
I roll my sleeves and say “Don’t fret!
She’ll love it, every slice!”

A thought occurs to me right then,
A party could emerge.
“Can I call Uncle Tom; Aunt Jen?”
I figured they’d converge.

“If they would come, all could be fed,
And we’d surprise Aunt Nell.”
“Of course, tell them,” said Uncle Jed,
“We’ll ring the dinner bell!”

With plans in place, I get to work,
Give Jed some jobs to do.
We mix and knead and go berserk,
He follows every cue.

At five o’clock I ring the bell,
The others hear its call.
They run right over, quick, pell-mell,
As Nell just leaves the mall.

At six o’clock Nell’s truck flies in,
She screeches to a halt.
We turn the lights down very dim,
She slurps her fast-food malt.

The buffet waits, a lavish spread,
Two cakes, a pie, and more.
We crouch behind a pile of bread,
And watch the kitchen door.

Her presence cannot be ignored,
She marches in with bags.
And yet we know she’s truly floored,
Her eyes glow as she swags.

“Surprise, Aunt Nell, it’s birthday time!”
Nell smiles a sheepish grin.
“You’ve fixed a meal that looks sublime,”
She laughs amidst the din.

Then Uncle Jed kneels on one knee,
Before Aunt Nell’s red face.
“Well Nell, I hope you clearly see,
For me, you’re in first place!”

I wonder in that moment sweet –
Can God our motives know?
When sacrifice and true love meet
His blessings steal the show.


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This article has been read 865 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Laury Hubrich 04/24/08
How clever! Loved this and had no clue where it was going! Great job!
Lynda Schultz 04/24/08
Well done. This had nice flow to me and a great story too.
Debbie Roome 04/25/08
This is such fun and rounded up perfectly by the last verse.
Jason Swiney04/25/08
I had an image of Uncle Jed being tall and skinny and Aunt Nell being...well, not tall or skinny. A joy to read, keep sharing your creativity.
Patty Wysong04/26/08
Such a fun read! I could Nell and Jed and their personalities came through loud and clear. Fun!
Joshua Janoski04/27/08
This reminded me of the Jack Sprat nursery rhyme, only this was much better. :)

Thank you for sharing this delightful poem. It was a joy to read.
Tammy Bovee04/27/08
This was a delight to read.
It has such cadence about it, a beat, a rythym that rings sweet to the ear. I do hope all that Uncle did turns the Aunt's attitude around a bit!
Pam Carlson-Hetland04/29/08
This was a fun read. Delightful characters well described with a nice story. Good job!
Allan Morelos04/30/08
I thoroughly enjoyed your poem. I was thinking of just 'scanning' it but each stanza keeps me glued to the end. Great job!