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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Easter (05/30/05)

TITLE: Gullible for Jesus
By WENDY DECKER
06/05/05


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“Gullible! You’re so gullible, Lisa Jean. Hey Johnny, I bet if I told Lisa Jean this here piece of chewing gum was found in President Kennedy’s mouth the day he was assassinated, she’d believe it, and even pay me 50 cents for it,” Susan said as she waved the glob of pink bazooka on her forefinger.

They’re right, Lisa Jean thought as the twig Tommy flipped into the air with the tip of his sneaker slipped through her fingers when she reached out to catch it.

She should have known that Tommy Johnson would never want someone like her to attend the eighth grade dance with him. When she found out that he’d only asked her on a dare she pretended it didn’t bother her. She even tossed her head back and laughed along with everyone. But her heart sank into the pit of her stomach just like it did the day she’d come home from school to find out her dog had been put to sleep.

What was wrong with me anyway, she wondered. Maybe she didn’t have the straightest teeth in the class and maybe her shirt hung a bit looser than the other girls who filled them out with their new gifts from God, but she was kind and smart and sweet as cherry pie. At least that’s what her aunt Mimi always said.

“So, what are ya doin’ this weekend?” Susan asked Lisa Jean.

“What do ya think I’m doing? Its Easter weekend. I’m gonna be helping my mama cook and then on Sunday we’re all going to church and afterwards to my Grandma’s house for Easter dinner.”

“What’s so special about Easter?” Susan asked.

“You’re jokin’, right?”

“No, I ain’t jokin’,” Susan said. “You get an Easter basket filled with candy when you’re a kid, but now ya get nothin’. It’s no different than any other day.”

“It’s not about the ‘Easter bunny’ it’s about the celebration of Jesus coming back to life,” Lisa Jean said, as she furrowed her brow wondering if Susan really meant what she said or was still mocking her for being gullible.

Johnny kicked another twig back over to Lisa Jean like they were playing soccer. “Aren’t you goin’ to church on Easter, Johnny?” Lisa Jean asked.

“Naah, we don’t go any other Sunday, why would we go on Easter?”

“To celebrate Jesus’ resurrection. If He never rose from the dead we’d all be going’ to Hell when we die.”

Susan kicked the twig across the street leaving them with nothing left to occupy their feet with as they continued strolling along the slated sidewalk. “You have to be really bad to go to Hell and I’m not that bad!” Susan said. “Anyway, where’d ya hear that story? Your Mama—your Grandma—your Grandma’s mama? It’s just a dumb old tale, and anyone who believes it is just plain old gullible!” She said, hands on her hips and her chin pushed out so far in front of her neck it looked like it would fall right off her face with one quick smack, Lisa Jean thought for just a minute. But she’d never take such an action and felt badly afterwards for letting visions like that cross her mind.

“I may be fooled into believing certain things are true that really aren’t from time-to-time and you can make fun of me for that if you want to, but this is different.”

“What’s so different about it?” Susan asked. “You believe in an old story that supposedly happened thousands of years ago to some guy just so you won’t go to Hell. That’s just plain crazy.”

Susan and Tommy looked at Lisa Jean differently than they had before. They acted as if they had no interest or belief, yet they still stared at her waiting for her to say something else in defense of her belief; and she did.

“Believing what you can’t see but your heart feels is called ‘faith.’ And if that makes me gullible, then I’m gullible for Jesus. Lisa Jean’s foot discovered another twig and she kicked it to Tommy and he kicked it over to Susan and she kicked it up into the air. Lisa Jean reached out with both her hands and caught it.

“I knew I’d catch that stick one day,” she said, and smiled.


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This article has been read 814 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Joanne Malley06/06/05
There's no better reason to be "gullible" in someone else's eyes. Nice story, dialog and wonderful writing!
Suzanne R06/07/05
What a heart warming piece! I could see these kids walking down the street. I was so happy that the 'gullible girl' caught that twig in the end! It was a nice way to finish up.
Kyle Chezum06/07/05
Very clever! I myself have never kicked a twig down a sidewalk, but these characters seem to be pros at it. Good job!
dub W06/08/05
Clever and a fun read. I lost some of the characters about mid way, confused them...I think some times and afirmation for clarity sake is okay.
Sally Hanan06/08/05
A fun read with a sound message. Thanks for the smile.
Debbie OConnor06/09/05
Great job. This is vivid, powerful writing and you deliver a great message. Excellent work. One of the best I've read.
Shari Armstrong 06/09/05
Good depiction of the characters. I like the way Lisa Jean stayed true to her beliefs, despite just being made into a joke. The resiting of the temptation to get back at them was done well also.
darlene hight06/09/05
Creative take on the topic. I'm glad she stood for truth.
Val Clark06/10/05
Well told story with believable characterisation. Good premise that you carried through from beginning to end.
Maxx .06/10/05
Gotcha Wendy! I enjoyed this ... the message was good! I don't think the presentation was as strong as some of your others (but your others are so excellent!) but that doesn't take away from the concept and message! :-)
Lynda Lee Schab 06/11/05
Great job, Wendy! Clever concept, believable dialogue, sound message. Held my interest the whole way through.
Love, Lynda
Pat Guy 06/11/05
"..new gifts from God." ;) Loved it! Could see this as a skit for young youth! Really! Everything was Great!
Delores Baber06/12/05
Beautifully written piece. I believe it would make an excellent book so of a Christian Tom Sawyer style. With your talent it could become a Christian classic. You're so good that others recognize your style. Some of those that critqued you are very talented themselves. That speaks volumns about your talent!
Linda Germain 06/12/05
Loved the dialogue! Wonderful writing. Very polished


   
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